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isthisselfcare · 2 years ago

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An accumulation of a few months of asks, please forgive my delay. I have not answered them all as some will require more time than I’ve got at the moment. Thank you to anyone who sent me kind comments from the bottom of my heart!

Re: questions about bookbinding and paywalls

I have a few of these queries and, though I thought my position was amply clear with ‘not for profit’ binding only, to reiterate – I permit bindings of my work on a not for profit basis, which means that binders should not be making money from binding my work. Please don’t put my work behind paywalls. I find fanfic binding to be amongst the most fascinating and wonderful developments in fandom in recent years, making beautiful works so tangible and permanent – let’s not give copyright holders a reason to look upon us with a litigious eye.

did you watch the new Persuasion?

I quit after the first half hour, all agony, zero hope. I’ve half a mind to make a post with screenshots in, with arrows and comments and shrieks of pain

Ur Instagram is my fav meme account

Thank you, I think I’ve found my calling, rather less time consuming than the writing x

Hello, can I ask you a question?

“Love and light, my girl,” said the first Keeper.

^Did the keeper say this because she had predicted Hermione's future and knew that she would eventually fall in love with Malfoy?

Love dmatmoobil.💛💛💛💛 Thank you.

It’s a greeting/farewell in some witchy circles, but I adore this interpretation!

Hello darling! 👋 I hope you're having the most fantastic summer and the best life, really, because dmatmobil has brought me so much joy. I'm beyond obsessed and keep replaying the audio version of it on Spotify almost every day. At this point I know it almost by heart but just your prose is so soothing and comforting, it's an immediate source of endorphins.

I have one question: during the tea party, Draco asks Hermione if she'd like Narcissa to give her one of the flowers (hyacinths?) for medical/research purposes and in response she says something like "she's already helped me". I've been wondering what that meant - my first intuitive guess is that what she meant was that Narcissa helped her feel more at ease at the manor by inviting her and being a gracious host? Or was there a deeper meaning to her words?

Thank you! On the hyacinths – in that passage, Narcissa mentions to Hermione that the plant was brought in from Provence. In a later passage (as they are climbing up towards the monastery) Draco notes in passing that there are hyacinths in the undergrowth. Hermione uses flora to triangulate locations for her various ingredients, so the implication there (for, admittedly, a reader with a magnifying glass) was that Narcissa’s mention helped her narrow her search down in some way. Perhaps she hadn’t been able to find a saint’s bone + hyacinth combination location in the UK and the Provence mention spurred her on to widen the net. Also gave the author excuses to write about romantic seaside walks

Where did you get the idea for the rings in dmatmoobil?

Magical rings are the bog standard Jewellery Plot Device so I only ‘got the idea’ in the sense of picking the lowest hanging fruit, haha! And (if you didn’t know) something similar does exist in real life – smart rings – a cool piece of kit!

just wanted to say i LOVED draco malfoy & the ordeal of being in love!!! thank you so much for writing & sharing it. i really really wish i could read more of your work— i feel like i’ve been rudely spat back into reality from the lovely world you built and reality is terrible— but i understand your need to keep your lives/identities separate! if begging would help, let me know. i’d readily beg for more of your romance works!!! + i’d take the vow of secrecy!! also if you have a patreon or ko-fi or some way to support your work, please let me know as well! me and the reddit community of r/romancebooks think it is a crime that we read such an amazing piece of work for free!!! i just love your writing style so much and i really wish i could live in your stories & the worlds you build. i will now slowly savour the shorter one-shots you have written like they’re the last few drops of water on earth. thank you so much again for sharing your talent, hard work & stories with the world!!!!!!

I’ve not got any of those platforms but your kind message is worth a kg per word in gold, thank you! (Also – I haven’t any one-shots up – now unsure whether or not you have written to the correct author – will take the compliments regardless)

I don’t know if you are on GoodReads but the romcom author Penny Reid loved your fanfic!

I had a google as I wasn’t familiar with their work, but Happily Ever Ninja and Neanderthal Seeks Human sound simply fabulous based on titles alone. Thank you for letting me know! xx

hey, I have real problem (LOL). I'm not sure when D&H had their sex together. Did they really sleep together in Chapter 30: Samhain or it was just imagination. Please help here because I have problem with plot. Thank you in advance. Love your writing and sense of humor in it :)

Hiya, yes, they slept together – see this line in the next chapter: ‘It was difficult to deny what had happened, given that each had the other’s bodily fluids in various stages of evaporation upon their person’ (particularly charming out of context)

Hi, thank you for sharing DMATMOOBIL! What made you choose Greyback as the villain?

Ooh, I haven’t got an elegant answer for that one – he was reverse engineered into being. My first question when plotting this thing, knowing I wanted a Healer Hermione who needed protection, was what disease or problem was she curing that would anger someone? The top 3 candidates were lycanthropy, vampirism, and Dementors (traces of that brainstorm linger in the chapter when she explains her treatment’s other applications). I really liked the Dementor cure idea, only I couldn’t see Dementors posing a proper threat to Hermione without a lot of in-universe setup (would need a reason for Dementors to be floating about outside of Azkaban, would need Dementors to have enough brains to work out what she’s doing? And stage attacks?? Or a baddie Dementor Leader organising things?) – so, idea discarded due to Author Couldn’t Be Arsed in the interest of efficiency.

Vampires and werewolves were both more feasible, but lycanthropy got the edge because I had a beloved character in the story afflicted by it (Lupin). And then, continuing the reverse engineering, who gets rather pipped at the idea of a cure? Greyback, who, conveniently had an established antagonistic relationship with Hermione and also did not explicitly die in canon. (Though if he had died in canon, I would have used him anyway; I’ve got no respect for the dead)

I discovered dmatmoobil recently when I did one of my irregular dramione deep-dives. I came here to say how dare you write a story that has affected me profoundly like few other stories have. Love is too inadequate a word to describe the enormity of my feelings now that I've finished madly binging it. (1/2)

Truly, you write in the spirit of Jane Austen et al., and can I just say that even if you weren't one of the few (or only?) fanfic authors I've ever seen cite Jerome K. Jerome as an influence, (2/3, I lied, brevity is not my forte)

it would have been evident from every other sentence of your breathtakingly *not* jejune work. Anyway, in addition to adding to your inbox material for grey days, I do actually have a question: will there be an epilogue? (3/3)

(4/5, because it is 2.30am so of course my brain thinks this is a good time to be active) I would also like all of your thoughts on all of dear Jane Austen's books, but I understand that this might be a bit much to ask.

Only tell me that, Pride and Prejudice being the ultimate comfort read aside, you also think Sense and Sensibility is a reliable soporific (despite my best efforts I have never once made it through the whole book without nodding off) (5/5)

Thank you for this VERY sweet message. I haven’t any plans for an epilogue or other additions to the Mortifying Ordeal, so sorry to disappoint. I wish I had the time to share all of my thoughts on Austen, but in the meantime – you must give Sense and Sensibility another chance – perhaps a strong espresso first – it’s a non-stop thrill-ride. Really! Heroine falls in the rain! Dashing rescue! Snipped locks of hair (scandal!!)! Illegitimate daughter! Fevers! Jiltings! Illegitimate daughter dies a pauper! Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon! (The last hasn’t to do with the book, but I nevertheless add it as a point of consideration)

Sending you a heads up to look at the my-dmatmoobil-memes tumblr if you haven’t already been notified of it

I had not been notified and it is BRILLIANT. I am going to add every post to my queue. Thank you to the genius behind this!!

Curious about what other genres you write or if you do mostly humor?

Hiya, I go through phases – angst, erotica, humour, Serious Story with Important Message About The State Of Our Society, back to penises

Humour is my favourite in terms of the sheer pleasure of writing, but it is also by far the most difficult (far easier to make people cry than laugh!)

Hi, I'm head over heels with dmatmobil and I have some questions, if you don't mind.

Am I right in assuming that Hermione decided to start the project partly because the money from her invention (jotter) gave her the freedom to do so? In your headcanon, had she been sitting on the idea for a long time before she started doing it but simply didn't have the means?

In the crypt in France, they stumble into the reverse ethics spell, the mechanics of which I found fascinating. What I'm wondering is, was the spell limited only to the confines of the crypt and the affected person's immediate intentions? If Hermione had been affected, for instance, would she have simply left the crypt or would she have abandoned her entire project entirely (since she was there because of the project)?

And finally, was Hermione initially so reserved towards Draco during their Hogwarts trip because she had heard about him going on dates recently? Cause in the previous chapter Theo mentions people gossiping about his (unsuccessful) dates. Had the word reached Hermione and was she feelings unwelcome stirrings of jealousy?😌

Thanks so much in advance! Love you bye💛💛

Such good questions, such mediocre answers. So sorry!

On Hermione’s project – as it came about through a mechanical process (author needed a villain; see Greyback question above) I haven’t got a headcanon for that part of Hermione’s journey, but I like your idea of her having the project floating in her brain-soup for a time before it became financially feasible. On the reverse ethics spell, I didn’t think through the mechanisms in this level of detail, but my sense is that it would’ve had physical + time limits (effects dissipating if they left the crypt, and after a few days?). For the last question, see below:

Hello. I adore dmatmobil and I'm verging very close to unhealthy obsession zone. Hence my microcosmic question:

In one of the later chapters, lovesick Draco and Theo are discussing his crush and Theo says people are gossiping about Draco's dating life. So I was wondering, since the word reached Theo, did Hermione hear about Draco's dates too by chance, in your headcanon? If so, was that part of the reason why she was kind of distant and reserved at the beginning of their trip to Hogwarts, because she thought Draco was having an active love-life and this made her feel Not Good?

Thank you in advance.💙💙💙💙💙💙

Yes, this is certainly the implication in the text and explains her standoffishness when they meet again. I think it’s inevitable that she would’ve heard of it, given how small the wizarding world is – and how gossipy!

Have you seen the @DMATMOOBILbot on twitter? 😂

I had not, but what bits of it Twitter allowed me to see without an account (don’t make me make a Twitter I’m already overwhelmed) were wonderful! What an idea! Thank you for sharing this with me and thank you to the other genius behind this one (or perhaps the same genius?! Is Dramione a single entity of genius?)

Hello! I just realized while rereading your fic that I took a lot of inspiration from your fic while writing my own fic 😅 Would it be okay if I put your fic as having inspired mine? It's totally okay if not, I just figured I'd ask. I'm embarrassed I didn't realize it sooner 🥴🥴 I was writing in a new style for me, and I think my subconscious put in *attempts* at similar humor as you bc I reread your story often. My apologies if this comes across weird, I really didn't mean anything by it 😅 Hope this finds you well!

I removed some identifying details from this ask. And yes, of course you can! I am so pleased you liked it so much and honoured to be a positive influence (for once in my life otherwise rife with criminality and sin). All writing is iterative and builds on that which came before it. None of us write in a vacuum! Which is a convenient bridge into the next question:

Hi!! If it's not too invasive, can I ask what are some of the books which have inspired your style of comedic writing & strategic timing + the banter?

I’m chiefly inspired by British humourists, 19th and early 20th century. I have a note at the very beginning of Mortifying with a list of my favourites, delve into any of those and be amused! (And – perhaps if you are like me – feel dull and thick in contrast to the scintillating wit, sigh)

I don't even know how to put these in proper words. But I'm reading the Mortifying Ordeal and I just melted into your work. As a reader I have 100% satisfaction.

As a writer I'd be over the cloud if you could spare some tips on how to write in such a mesmerizing way.

P.S. I've been dreaming of writing a fanfic for God knows how long. I write a few chapters and then destroy the whole thing :')

Thank you for your kind words! I’ve got good news for you – if you have written chapters then destroyed them in a rage, you are already a True Author. If I may offer a humble suggestion, do a rage cut-and-paste rather than a rage-delete, and plonk the allegedly horrible chapters into a document called ‘Scraps’ or perhaps, depending on how full of rage you are, ‘Utter Rubbish’ – you may go back in there some day and find that the things weren’t as bad as you thought they were. Good luck, and keep writing – your first pieces will not reach the lofty heights of your aspirations, but eventually, through practice, you will begin to approach them. Perhaps even reach them? (I wouldn’t know, I never have)

#asks

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago

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The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5

More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.

Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.

I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go

Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming

“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.”

It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear.

“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”

“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid.

“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room.

“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?”

“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.”

Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.”

“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!”

You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him.

“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”

"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."

And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.

“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.”

Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.

"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.

"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.

“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”

“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.

You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.

"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"

"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"

You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.

Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.

"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.

"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."

"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.

"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.

"Yeah, me too." You agreed.

"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.

"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."

"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."

You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."

You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.

He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.

"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."

"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.

Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.

You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."

Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.

“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?”

He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.

"On?"

"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."

"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"

You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."

"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.

"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.

"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."

"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."

The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."

“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions.

“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.”

"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"

He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"

"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."

"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."

You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."

You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.

You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.

"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."

"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."

You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.

“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?”

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.”

You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression.

Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.”

You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.”

“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours.

You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you.

“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.”

“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?”

Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.”

“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.”

Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.

You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure.

“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.”

“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?”

You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.”

Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.”

“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.

“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.”

“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?”

“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.”

“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.”

This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.”

“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.”

He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?”

“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.”

He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes.

“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.”

#hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #hannibal x you #hannigram #hannigram x reader #the sommelier #wine #tw trauma #tw victim blaming #tw alcohol

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years ago

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What I Thought About "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

When Dana Terrace did her AMA on Reddit, a fan asked what we could expect for the new season. To which she replied by listing five things:

Parental conflict

A lot of emotions

Island exploration

New characters

...There's a fifth thing in there. You just got to look closely.

Now, when Dana mentioned parental conflict, dozens of fans assumed she was talking about Alador and Odalia, which, I mean...valid. They were the only two parental figures who presented any real conflict, and the idea of Camila being involved seemed implausible due to Luz being cut off from the human world. But no matter how you perceived that line, one thing’s for sure: No one expected Eda and Lilith's mother to be a source of conflict!

Yup. Today we met the woman who created two of the (former) greatest witches in all of the Isles. Was her introduction welcomed? Or did she give the Blights a run for their money for the "Worst Parent(s) of the Year" award? Only spoilers can answer those questions, so keep that in mind as we go in-depth with "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

Let's review, shall we!

WHAT I LIKED

The Flashback: Already, this episode comes out swinging by giving us so much information! We get an explanation of what Eda goes through when cursed (which is horrifying), the reasoning behind her gem, the revelation that Eda ran away from home, and the reveal of how she got the portal door. The best part is, none of it feels rushed or forced. Eda's curse and the portal are integral threads to this story, both in this episode and in future ones. Tying them together sets up Gwendolyn's determination to cure her daughter while showing Eda's determination to escape her mother by skipping town into another dimension. There's also a sense of mystery in how and why the portal was in their backyard. And judging by how we got all of this incredible information in episode FOUR of the new season, something tells me we'll get answers to those questions sooner than we might think. This was such a strong opening to the episode. Despite giving so much information, it makes fans like me want even more. Which is an A+ in my book.

Gwendolyn: Yeah, might as well step out the gate in saying that I like Gwen...but I can already see how others won't. Immediately, she sets herself up as a mother who would do anything and everything to cure her daughter. That aspect of her character is perfect, and it quickly won points from me in terms of liking her. It's just that Gwendolyn's disregard of what Eda wants and the complete dismissal of Lilith are aspects of Gwen that are certainly going to rub some people the wrong way. Especially if those kids come from households where their parents are a lot like Gwendolyn. I was in the same boat of hating her too for a while, but thankfully, the last act saved her.

First, there's that scene where Gwendolyn threatened the lives of the demons for not only screwing her over but making things worse for Eda. It's one of those "Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned" moments that I always love to see.

Then there's the fact that Gwendolyn learns her lesson and, more importantly, apologizes. Not many actual abusive mothers would do that (Looking at you, Odalia), so it's nice to see that she makes an effort to make amends. Oh, and by the way, since I mentioned it, don't go around calling Gwendolyn abusive. She isn't. Or, at least, not to my eyes. If anything, she's a lot like Sara Fitzgerald from My Sister's Keeper (The book. Not the movie. The movie sucked).

In that story, Sara makes controversial choices that result in her youngest daughter Anna getting the short end of the stick due to putting all attention towards her eldest Kate. But here's the thing: KATE HAS CANCER! So while Sara's choices are beyond questionable, you can understand her point. And if you don't, well, I'd see how you would react when in her shoes. Trust me when I say that situations like this aren't always cut and dry. It's the same with Gwendolyn. She's far from "Mom of the year," but you understand where she's coming from. She wants to do what she can to help Eda, even if her methods could have been better. But that's just how I feel, and I can't speak for everyone who dealt with mothers far worse than her. If you refuse to forgive her, I'll understand. But to me, I consider Gwendolyn a worthy addition to the series.

(Plus, she just radiates Grandma energy when interacting with Luz. It's cute, and therefore I must love it!)

Luz: This season is on FIRE when presenting Luz!

I adore that the first thing we see her doing in this episode is sleeping after, most likely, another all-nighter to find a new portal. It proves that she has a determination made of iron and an intense dedication to getting back to Camila. In fact, it's that dedication that works as a perfect way to build a connection between Luz and Gwendolyn. They both want to reconnect with their families and are willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

Regardless, despite so desperately wanting to see Camila again, I'm glad that Luz still has common sense when it comes to helping Eda. She quickly sees that Gwen's cures are doing more harm than good, and it's great that Luz is the one to call malarky on the whole thing. No one had to spell things out for her because she's smart enough to notice that everything Professor Warlop is marketing feels a lot more like the fake medicine real people sell in the human world. It's a testament that despite having a big heart and the best intentions, Luz still has the intelligence to know when something is up and put a stop to it. And, again, let's hope that more people pick up on that.

Lilith: ...who would have expected Lilith of all characters to have most of the emotional moments in this episode?! I sure didn't!

But...Yeah. Lilith is the best thing in "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances." On top of her seeking Gwendolyn's approval being relatable for some viewers, it's also really heartbreaking. I mean, listen to the shocked and hurt tone in her voice after finding out Gwen visited Eda regularly. That alone should give away how much Gwendolyn is important to Lilith and says so much about how strained their relationship became after the curse. Then there's that scene where she just breaks down, feeling both scared and torn apart by the fact that she experienced the curse in its full form and could do nothing to stop herself. It...stung. That's the best way to describe it. It stung seeing a character who is (mostly) cool and collective to become so vulnerable and broken. And, you know what? It's because of this that Lilith has won me over. I still don't think she should have been as forgiven as quickly as she was, but after learning what Lilith went through and what she's currently going through, I'm more than willing to be ok with her. And--I can't believe I'm saying this--I'm going to miss her being a part of the Owl House. She earned her place, in my opinion, creating entertaining dynamics with everyone. Sure, she'll make appearances every now and again, but I wouldn't mind a few more episodes with her being with the main group. But I'm positive the writers will have plans for her in the future and seeing how well she was written in this, I can't wait to see what they do next.

King Hoping to see his Dad Again: This was just a cute tidbit that ties nicely into last week's episode. Bonus points for that scene where King and Lilith get drunk off of Night Market ice cream. It got a good chuckle out of me, especially when Hooty was the one who ended up being the voice of reason.

Cursed Lilith: ...How does she look worse and more terrifying than Eda?

How Beast Keeping Magic Works: Not much I can say about this. It's neat to be given a visual explanation of how Beast Keeping magic works and how it's more than just controlling animals. Judging by the roof shingles, it can also be making objects more animal-like. It's pretty cool, and I hope to see more of how the rest of the magic from the prominent covens work.

Luz wasn’t the only human: To tell you the truth, this doesn't surprise me. Eda did say that every myth humans have is a bit of the Boiling Isles leaking into the human world, so why can't the opposite be true? However, the reveal of there being a famous human around many years ago presents many more questions, and possible theories, that deserve to be discussed in a future post. For now, I'll just say that it's awesome how this reveal perfectly transitions us to next week's episode, "Through the Looking Glass Ruins." We already know Luz is going to the library. But, seeing how Gus is going to be a prominent character in that episode as well, he probably wanted to tag along with Luz to study about the first human in the Boiling Isles. Only to then get sidetracked by some cool kids from Glandis. It's in the realm of possibility, thus proving how more serialized this season compared to Season One while still being somewhat episodic. Because even if "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" presents a lot for the overall story, it's still its own tale about family relationships and knowing how to truly be there for the people you love. Resulting in a necessary and cute episode that ends on a wholesome note without any major surprises like--

Creepy Clone Luz: ...

...Dana Terrace, you lying--YOU SAID CREEPY LUZ WAS A FARCE! IN THE SAME AMA, TOO! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU AND YOUR SNAKE TONGUE, GOSH DANGIT!

...Alright, now that I got my overreaction out of the way, this was an amazingly well-written surprise!

Tricking fans into thinking that Camila is crying over the realization that Luz is gone, only to then reveal this...thing, is the best shock to the system that this series has done so far. Even better, it results in all the right questions:

Who is it?

What is it?

Where did it come from?

When did it get there?

How did it get there?

How does it know about Camila?

And why? Just, why?

To me, a series that presents all of these questions, and makes me excited for whatever answers are given, is a series that's doing something right. Because if I'm still reeling over something that lasts for a second, despite seeing the episode hours ago, that is a testament to how good a surprise really is.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Trust me, I want to give this episode the A+ just for that ending alone. But, there are some issues I have that are worth discussing.

Eda’s Outfit Change: I know. It's the nitpickiest of all nitpicks I could present. Particularly because Eda doesn't even look bad (although that's no surprise). The issue is that it feels weird that Eda's having this permanent outfit change in the fourth episode of Season Two. Or, to me it is, at least. Because I think that if you're going to give a small yet constant change to the look of a character, it should be done right away. Like, in the first episode of a new season. I highly doubt fans would question why Eda is wearing different clothes by then, so it wouldn't be too bad if the first time we see her, she’s sporting a new outfit. Again, this is just me, and I have no problems with the outfit itself. It just seems odd they would do this later rather than sooner.

Screwing with Eda: I...did not like this. At all. It was funny at first to see Luz and Gwendolyn lure Eda with Apple Blood like how Wile E. Coyote would bait the Road Runner with birdseed, but it quickly took a turn. Because I don't want to see Eda meet inconvenience after inconvenience from her mother and surrogate daughter. I like Eda, and seeing her happy makes me happy. If I wanted to laugh at a character's suffering, I would have picked Boscha, Mattholomule, Alador, and/or Odalia. This? This was just unnecessary cruelness to a character who doesn't deserve it. And it takes up a good chunk of this episode, making me question whether or not this would be the stinker I was fearing. Fortunately, the ending increased my enjoyment by several notches, but that doesn't change how this was the low point of "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

IN CONCLUSION

Despite the road being rocky in the middle, I still consider "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" to be another solid A episode. The first and last few minutes have some quality writing that adds more to the characters, ongoing plot, and mystery that the series is building up. It's one of those important episodes you can't skip when watching a series, but given how it's keeping the new season's impeccable track record, I fail to see how that's a problem.

(Although, I am scared. We haven't gotten a stinker yet, and I really don't want it to be next week's episode. It's a Gus episode with sweet Lumity content on the side! That cannot fail!)

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #the owl house spoilers #the owl house reviews #luz noceda #gwendolyn clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #what i thought about #creepy luz

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melodious-madrigals · 4 years ago

Text

we should just kiss (like real people do)

hi @misha-winchester, i am your wondertrev secret santa! i hope you had a lovely christmas season/whatever holidays you may celebrate, and i hope you have a very happy new year.

Pairing: Diana Prince/Steve Trevor Words: 8′609 Rating: T (swearing) AO3 tags: Modern Setting/No Powers, co-workers, Fake Dating, ‘and there was only one bed’, Hallmark-movie-esque midsunderstandings, Happy Ending Summary: Etta just invited Steve’s significant other along on their group holiday vacation. The only problem? He made said significant other up to get out of a series of set-ups six months ago, and forgot to set the record straight. Enter Diana, his newest co-worker and real-life crush, who doesn’t have any holiday plans and is somehow offering to help him out.

i have been derelict for too long, but no more! i’m so sorry that it took me so long, and i hope you enjoy this trope-packed fic, because i couldn’t decide on just one, and then it sort of ballooned!

Read it on [AO3] or below the cut.

***

“Shit.” Steve’s head thunks against his desk.

“Problem?”

He looks up to find Diana Prince, the newest legal consultant at their NGO standing in his office door. She’s intimidating and smart and beautiful and possibly also the kindest person he’s ever met, and even though they’re friendly, she’s the last person to whom he wants to admit what’s wrong. But she’s also looking at him with such genuine concern that he spills his guts anyways.

“The last time my friend Etta tried to set me up with someone, I told her I was already dating someone, and now she wants me to bring them on our annual holiday trip to one of our friend’s cabin.” Steve kneads the space between his eyebrows, trying to get rid of the tension headache that’s starting to form.

Diana tilts her head, confused. “That’s kind of her.”

“I’m not actually dating anyone,” Steve clarifies. “I just said it to get her off my back. And now I have to either say I lied—which will not go over well for obvious reasons—or say that I broke up with the person and get all sorts of ‘holiday pity’.”

Diana leans elegantly against his doorframe. “People go their separate ways all the time, no? Besides, maybe it’s a bit soon for a weekend away with friends.”

Steve winces. “It’s possible that I told her this almost six months ago and never corrected the record.”

“Ah,” says Diana, taking the liberty of moving into his office and sitting down across from him. “So it’s rather a large deception then.”

“I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand? It was just so nice to not have my friends nagging me about my dating life. They’re well intentioned but a little too insistent sometimes.”

“Okay, so telling them is out of the question,” Diana says, very seriously. And—uh-oh, she’s going into problem-solving mode. He’s absolutely mortified that his very capable and very attractive co-worker is taking time to talk with him about this when she’s a literal international human rights lawyer and university lecturer with plenty of other things to be doing. “Hmm. Isn’t that what Craigslist is for?”

“Ha,” says Steve. “I’m never going to be able to get someone to come with me over Christmas on such short notice.”

“Not everyone has plans on Christmas,” Diana argues.

“Yeah, I get that; I’m not even Christian,” says Steve. “But a lot of people still go home because it’s a long holiday.”

“I’m not Christian either and I don’t have any family here in the States. We exist,” Diana jokes.

“Want to be my fake date, then?” The words leave Steve’s mouth before his brain can catch up and tell him what a massively stupid idea that would be, to fake date his real crush, for lack of a better word.

“Yes, alright: if you can’t find someone on Craigslist, I’ll do it,” says Diana, and then before Steve can process: “Anyways, I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time. I just dropped by to give you a hard copy of my revisions. She hands him the legal brief, shoots him a quick smile, and saunters out of his office, apparently unaware of the dazed state she’s left him in.

I’ll do it? Is she serious? For a second, Steve’s mind runs away from him before he shuts it down. She was just being polite; he’s certain of it. There’s no way she wants to give up her days off to go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with people she doesn’t even know.

Steve reluctantly writes up a quick wanted ad on Craigslist and hits post before he can overthink it. He can definitely do a fake date for the holidays, right? That’s something normal people do.

Three days later, he’s gotten a dozen responses to the Craigslist ad, but most of them are variants of either “is this some weird sex thing?” or “can you please post this story on reddit’s r/relationships with an update on how it went because i’m 2000 miles away but very invested in this”. None of them are a real live person that he can take on the trip to meet his friends.

His brain has also been playing Diana’s I’ll do it on repeat pretty much constantly, so on Tuesday evening, after most people have already gone home for the night, he steals himself and wanders down to Diana’s office. If she’s in, he’ll ask. If she’s gone, it’s a sign, and he won’t bring it up.

She’s still there, illuminated only by the glow of her computer and a small desk lamp—the overhead light is turned off and her coat is on, like maybe she was in the process of leaving and then went back to her desk to dash off one email that turned into several.

He taps on the doorframe.

“Steve!” she says, smiling when she sees him. “What a pleasant surprise! Have a seat, I’m just finishing something up. It’ll only be a moment.”

He smiles nervously and takes one of the chairs opposite her desk, patiently silent as she taps away at her computer.

Three minutes later, she folds her laptop closed and turns the weight of her attention to him.

“Thank you for being patient. What can I do for you?”

“I just—were you serious?”

“Hmm?”

“The other day—were you serious about being my fake date if I couldn’t find someone on Craigslist?”

“I—yes, I was.”

“Wait, really?”

She shrugs elegantly. “I have no holiday plans.”

“You’re sure.”

She tosses him an amused expression. “I am. It’ll be nice to meet some new people.”

“Right. Well. Can I, uh, buy you dinner or something while we go over the details?”

Diana considers him for a moment. “How does Thai takeout at my place sound?”

“Like a fantastic idea.”

On Friday, Steve is extremely antsy. He’s taken a half day, and he and Diana are driving up to Charlie’s cabin after her lecture lets out.

She’s in a good mood when he picks her up, and the ensuing discussion crosses a half a dozen different topics. He doesn’t think they’ve ever had a boring conversation, and they’re more than halfway there before Steve remembers that he wanted to run through the basics of their fake-dating mandate again.

“I’ve never really been much for PDA,” he says, “so they won’t be surprised if we’re not particularly demonstrative. A little hand-holding and casual touching here and there and we’ll be fine.”

“Yes,” replies Diana, amused rather than annoyed. “You mentioned this the other day.”

“Did I? I guess I’m just nervous.” He’s already feeling a little guilty about lying to his friends (again), and he’s suddenly wondering if he’s capable of pulling it off.

“They asked me to invite you—er, my significant other—to a dinner in October. I don’t think it’ll come up, but—”

“I spent a week of October in Europe, and have plenty of university functions to attend,” Diana reassures him. “Saying I was busy that night probably isn’t even a lie, and besides, that was months ago. Take a breath; this will be okay.”

“I’m just rethinking this,” huffs Steve.

“You’re welcome to tell them I’m just a friend that needed a place to stay for the holidays,” Diana offers calmly.

“No. No, I’m committed to the lie now.”

“Okay. Then let’s do this. I’m here for you, you know.”

“Yeah,” says Steve, glancing over at her in the passenger seat before turning his attention back to the road. “Thanks.”

They’re the last ones to arrive to the cabin, because everyone else was able to take the full day off, so they walk into a full house.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to finally meet you!” exclaims Etta, pulling Diana into a hug before they’ve barely gotten in the door.

“You must be Etta,” Diana says, once she’s been let go. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hey, Etta,” Steve says, pulling her in for his own hug.

“Everyone else is in the living room.”

They make their way down the hall, towards the sound of all the voices.

“Steve!” yells Sameer from across the room when they round the corner. A cheer goes up—it’s possible that some of them have already had a glass or two of wine—and Steve pulls Diana forward to introduce her.

“Everyone, this is Diana. Diana, this is Napi, Charlie, Etta’s wife Adrienne, Sameer, and Sameer’s fiancée Noor.”

“It’s so lovely to meet all of you,” says Diana, moving forward to shake hands and give hugs, along with Steve.

“You’ll want to drop off your luggage in your room, I’m sure,” Etta declares forcefully, shooing them back out of the room once they’re done with the greetings.

“Alright, alright, we’re going,” acquiesces Steve.

“Well, dinner will be done shortly, and I’m sure you’re hungry. Best get settled in before you go into a food coma.”

“Stop making sense,” he snarks, but they all know he’s joking.

“Second door on the left!” calls Etta after him, as they traipse up the stairs. There’s a niggling in his brain about this room, because he’s been in it once and it’s—

“Shit,” says Steve under his breath upon entering the room, because it’s one of the rooms with a single queen bed instead of two twins.

“Is there something wrong with the room?” asks Diana, a step behind him. “I’m sure we can fix it, whatever it is.”

“No, it’s just—I didn’t even think about this,” says Steve, gesturing at the bed. “Usually when I come, I’m in a different room with Charlie or Napi.”

Diana surveys the space in front of them. “You mean the bed?” Her nose wrinkles. “Are you really that uncomfortable sharing?”

“I—no, of course I’m not. I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Well then, that’s settled. I am not uncomfortable. Which side do you prefer?”

Of course it’s not a big deal. Right. He’s making too much out of this because he might—possibly—have feelings. But for Diana, it’s just two adults sharing a bed, which is perfectly natural. But now she’s looking at him expectantly, which makes him realize—“Uh, left, I guess.”

The way she smiles, he gets the distinct impression that his answer has pleased her, that he’s chosen correctly, if such a thing is possible. (He thinks, stupidly, that he would do quite a lot to chase that smile.)

Meanwhile, Diana drops her duffel on the right side of the bed.

“Do you mind if I change quickly before dinner?”

“Yeah, no, of course. I’ll just be downstairs.”

Steve heads back downstairs and pauses in the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face.

He can definitely share a bed with Diana. They’re adults. It’s not strange, and it’s not romantic. It’s just two people sharing a sleeping space because there are not enough beds.

He reenters the living room to find Charlie and Sameer in the middle of an argument about who’s the better cross-country skier while Noor, Adrienne, and Etta chat over a cup of tea and Napi watches over several pots in the kitchen.

“The answer, of course, is neither of you. Noor is the best skier here.”

Charlie squawks indignantly, and Sameer laughs. “That she is.”

“Can someone set the table?” asks Napi. “Dinner is about to be ready.”

Steve, as the closest one to the kitchen, pulls out the plates and silverware and starts setting up the table, while the others slowly drift towards the dining area.

And then there’s a gentle pressure on his elbow. “Can I help with anything?” asks Diana, softly, and when he turns, he feels the air knocked out of him.

Diana is all comfort, in simple black leggings and a chunky winter sweater instead of her usual pristine business wear, but she’s all the more beautiful for the casualness. Her face, too, is wiped clean of standard makeup and her hair is down, and he realizes that she has freckles. They’re faint, just the slightest smattering over her nose and cheeks, but Steve is close enough to see them, and for a second he wants to touch them, trace them into constellations.

Then he realizes he’s staring and jumps a little, moving to rearrange the plate in front of him.

“You could, uh, fold the napkins, I guess? There isn’t really a whole lot to do.”

They work in tandem as the rest of the crew files in, loud and boisterous as they dish out their meals.

“So, Diana,” says Etta, once everyone is settled in their seats, “tell us all about yourself! Steve’s been so tight-lipped about you that I was starting to think you didn’t exist.”

Steve almost chokes on his wine, but Diana doesn’t so much as flinch, simply smiling at Etta and saying, “Well, I’m not sure what you’d like to know, but I’m originally from one of the Grecian islands and I completed my studies in the UK. Right now, I’m splitting my time between the US and the Netherlands.”

“Oh, what part of the Netherlands?” asks Noor. “Sameer and I both lived there, at different points!”

“Just the Hague, I’m afraid,” says Diana ruefully, because it’s not known for its charms.

“Diana’s on a prosecutorial team at the International Criminal Court,” Steve clarifies, which prompts a number of impressed looks all around the table.

“We’re in between cases right now,” Diana says, “and we’re only just starting to file some pre-trial motions for the next thing on our docket, so I took a position as a guest lecturer here in the States. A friend of mine convinced me to take the consulting position at the ARGUS Foundation since it’s not full-time.” When Diana pauses, she notices a number of raised eyebrows around the table. “I think the expression in English is ‘I wear a lot of hats’,” she jokes.

“She’s a wonder,” interjects Steve easily, and he doesn’t even have to work at the soft look that he gives her. (He’ll interrogate the fact that it’s just how he looks at her later, when he’s alone and can have a nice little panic about it.)

“I just like to have purpose,” says Diana, and then Noor asks her about her last case, and the conversation takes on a life of its own.

Diana, as he suspected, gets on well with his friends, fitting in as though she’s known them years instead of hours, and they migrate into the living room after dinner, talking and laughing into the late hours of the evening.

“They are all lovely,” Diana tells him the moment the door to their room has closed behind them.

“They’re okay,” says Steve, but his face is pulled up in a smile, and Diana just laughs. He’s spent all evening getting to look at her whenever he wants, and even though they’re alone, even though there’s no need for his eyes to keep finding her, he doesn’t want to pull them away.

“They’re all so interesting!” Diana exclaims. “Sameer and I talked about linguistics for a full half an hour, and Etta and Adrienne’s stories are incredible!”

That makes him laugh. “Yeah, Etta’s something else.”

They talk a little more as they get ready for bed, and finally there’s nothing more to do but turn out the light and get under the covers. Steve’s tired enough that he thinks he has a decent shot at falling asleep, but he feels a little awkward as they both shift carefully on their respective sides.

“Hey,” he whispers into the deepness of the silky black night. “Thank you again for being here.”

“It is my pleasure.”

He listens to Diana’s breathing quickly even out, and though it takes him a little longer, he too falls asleep without too much trouble, despite her nearness.

To his great relief, or maybe to his great disappointment, they wake up in almost the exact same positions that they fell asleep in, on completely opposite sides of the bed.

“Good morning,” says Diana softly, hair slightly mussed and eyes still a little heavy with sleep, and frankly Steve’s not sure how he’s going to make it through the rest of the trip, because he likes her so much and also doesn’t want to impose his feelings.

“Good morning. I hope you’re ready for another insane day.”

“Once I’ve had some coffee, absolutely.”

“Well then,” says Steve, “let’s get you some coffee.”

Coffee is followed by breakfast, which is chaotic because everyone is up at slightly different times and traditionally, they fend for themselves for breakfast which means in practice that half a dozen people end up doing things in the kitchen at the same time.

The rest of the day is no calmer, as they all pack themselves up and spill outside for a snowy hike that lasts most of the afternoon. Diana, Etta, and Napi establish themselves as the fastest hikers early on, and they sort of naturally split into two groups. The whole group meets back up at one of the lookout points, where the faster group has lingered to let the rest catch up.

Steve uses the viewpoint to check in with Diana. “You doing okay?”

When she turns to him, her cheeks are rosy with exertion, her breath is coming out in silvery puffs in the cold air, and her eyes are dancing. “Excellent, you?”

“Really good.” They take in the snowy view in front of them. “Hey, I didn’t mean to leave you on your own,” Steve says, suddenly feeling a little awkward.

Diana snorts. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I was the one that walked ahead of you. If I’d been bothered, I wouldn’t have split off with Napi and Etta.”

“Right, of course.” He feels a bit stupid; she’s never struck him as the type to do something she really didn’t want to.

“We should probably walk back together though. For appearances.” She winks at him, and before he can respond, Noor is at his elbow.

“Can I take a picture for you two?”

“That would be great,” says Diana, handing Noor her phone as she slips her arm around his waist.

Pictures are snapped, and then they’re headed back down the trail. Steve ends up so engrossed in his conversation with Diana that the rest of the group fades away, and on the last straightway after they’ve descended, Diana reaches out and casually links their hands. Even through their gloves, it’s a giddy feeling.

That night after dinner, Steve steps outside for a moment of respite from the noisiness of the cabin. He breathes deeply, and stares at the patch of sky not covered in clouds, picking out a familiar constellation.

“Diana’s wonderful.”

Steve looks up from where he was leaning against the balcony railing to find that Etta has joined him outside.

“Yeah, she’s pretty great,” Steve agrees.

“I’m sorry you didn’t feel comfortable introducing us earlier,” says Etta so sincerely that Steve feels a squirming guilt welling up. “But if this was the pace you needed to go to be sure of your relationship, to make it solid and lasting, I’m glad you took the space to do so.”

“Right,” Steve echoes.

“Seriously, Steve,” says Etta, touching his arm, so that he’s almost forced to look at her. “You and Diana are so well-suited, and she’s good for you—I’ve never seen you like this.”

“What’s this?”

Etta contemplates him a moment. “You’re happy,” she says simply, and Steve rolls his eyes, because if Etta thinks just being in a relationship equates to—“but it’s not just that. You’re…still. Calm. You’ve usually got this frenetic, discontented energy, and with Diana it’s quieted.”

It makes Steve pause, but before he can say anything—refute her or maybe, heaven forbid, agree with her—Diana herself is bursting onto the balcony.

“There you are!” she exclaims, wrapping her arms around him from the back, and fuck, maybe it is his instinct to relax in the split second before he remembers that this is all an act. “Charlie says we’re roasting marshmallows over the fire, and I’m told that you have the technique perfected,” she says, with all the exuberant glee of a child.

Steve pointedly ignores the knowing, indulgent look on Etta’s face as he turns in Diana’s arms to face her, a small but unquashable smile on his face. “That’s a classic holiday tradition for us—I was wondering when Charlie was going to break them out. Have you ever had a s’more?”

“No, but I’m looking forward to it!”

“Well, then we can’t let Sameer or Etta roast yours; they always burn them.”

“It’s meant to be eaten with a little char,” says Etta.

“Absolutely not!” Steve doesn’t have time to say any more, because Diana has laced her hand in his and his gently tugging him toward the interior.

“Right. This is an American classic and you’re gonna love it.”

After making her the perfect marshmallow—gold and toasty, and soft all the way through without being burned—the rest of the night is spent roasting increasingly silly things over the coals and drinking copious amounts of hot chocolate and eggnog that are optionally spiked, utterly warm and cozy.

“Tell me something about yourself,” requests Diana, when they’re tucked into bed later, still on their own sides but far closer together than they were the night before.

“Like what?”

“Something—well, not something secret, if you don’t want to. But something that most people probably don’t know.”

Steve considers her for a moment, shifting so that he’s facing her, the moon providing just enough light that he can see the contours of her face. “I wanted to be a pilot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wanted to be a fighter pilot.”

Diana grins. “I can see that. What stopped you?”

“I decided I wouldn’t really be helping people, and helping people is what I wanted to do. What about you?”

“What did I want to be?”

“No, just—anything.”

“Hmm,” says Diana. “My favorite childhood memories are those of my aunt, Antiope.”

“Was she the cool aunt who spoiled you rotten?”

“She was the aunt that got me up at six in the morning every day to train.”

“Wow, that’s neat, I guess,” Steve deadpans, and Diana laughs in the darkness, rolling onto her side so that she’s facing him, so that they’re almost nose to nose.

“She was also more indulgent than my mother, yes.”

“I think we have very different definitions of indulgent,” says Steve.

“Perhaps,” says Diana, and despite how late it is, they spend another hour or two trading secrets in the darkness before falling asleep. Steve learns, among other things, that she loves cherries more than any other fruit, that she’d rather take the metro than a cab any day of the week, that she played the harp for a while and misses playing music but not playing the instrument itself. When they finally drift off to sleep, it’s still facing each other, fingers inches apart.

Steve wakes up feeling incredibly comfortable and very cozy. It’s only when he stretches a little that he realizes that the warm weight against his chest is not his blanket, but Diana. During the night, they must have migrated into each other, because now that his brain is coming back online, Steve realizes that not only is Diana tucked into his chest, but their legs are twined together. His shifting causes her to stir a little, but only to nuzzle against him a little before settling.

This is fine; he’s not freaking out. Not about how they’re accidentally pressed together, or about how much he likes her, or about what any of this means. Not about lines blurring and becoming harder to make out, not about lying to his friends. He’s fine.

Taking a breath, he weighs his options. He can wait for Diana to wake up and pretend he’s still asleep, and let her figure out how to react, or he can try to extricate himself now. Although it might wake her up, and then it would be doubly awkward, and—

And he’s waited too long in deciding, because Diana stretches a little sleepily and then blinks her eyes open, looking up at him.

“Good morning,” she says, apparently unbothered by their position. It’s making him spiral in confusion, and want, because it would be so easy to lean forward and kiss her, but neither has she directly expressed interest in him romantically, so he’s not about to actually do it.

“Did you sleep well?” asks Diana, gently untangling herself and sitting up.

Now that Steve thinks about it, he realizes that he’s slept better than he has in ages.

“Yeah,” he affirms a little hoarsely. “You?”

“Very well.” He’s considering saying something else—anything else, maybe apologizing for how closely they slept or, alternatively, telling her he adores her—when she continues, “How do you think everyone would feel about quiche?”

“Quiche?”

“One of the few reliable things I can cook,” says Diana, “but I have a good recipe, and I’m quite certain we have everything I’d need.”

Steve blinks. “I think it’d go over well.”

“Perfect!” Diana slips out of bed, sliding across the room with more of her infectious energy as she gathers her clothing for the day.

By the time Steve gets downstairs post-shower, Diana’s got the crust rolled out and blind-baking and has a number of veggies sautéing.

“Oh, good, you’re here! Can you pass me the mushrooms?” she asks, and he obliges, then takes it upon himself to crumble the cheese for her.

“Do you cook a lot?” he asks, and then curses himself, glancing around to make sure they’re alone and that nobody heard what was clearly a question that he, by all rights, should know the answer to. Blessedly, the only other person up is Napi, and he’s out on the porch.

“Not if I can help it,” says Diana. “You?”

“I enjoy it,” says Steve.

“Enjoy what?” asks Sameer, who’s just come down the stairs.

“Passing me ingredients when I tell him to,” teases Diana, successfully covering up what may have been a slip-up, because Sameer just rolls his eyes.

“You two are ridiculous.”

“More like adorable,” says Etta, who has apparently also been summoned by the smell of brewing coffee. “By the way—how did you two start dating? I’ve been meaning to ask since I never heard the story from this one”—she gestures at Steve—“and I’m sure it’s equally adorable.”

Steve can’t believe they’ve come this far without being asked, and that they didn’t do a better job of anticipating this question. He’s about to bumble his way through a response, but Diana, who is now pouring the egg mixture into the pan, has it covered.

“It’s sweet to me because it is ours, but I think you’ll otherwise find it quite boring. My third day of work, I came to his office by accident, looking for another colleague, and we traded a couple of jokes. Two days later, a bunch of people from the office went out for drinks after work, and I ran into Steve again. We spent a lot of the evening chatting, and when we left for the evening, he walked me to my train, and as we were waiting on the platform, he asked me out. He was kind and funny and handsome; there was no reason not to say yes.”

For a moment, Steve feels like he’s been hit by a train, because that’s actually how they met. They did spend an evening chatting, and he did wait on the platform with her. The only bit that didn’t happen was the asking out, and now he wonders what might have happened if he had. Then he reminds himself that it’s all an act, and she’s supposed to be acting like she likes him. He’s getting reality confused with the little mirage they’ve created.

“—it is sweet though,” Etta is saying when he snaps back to attention, unsure of just how much he’s missed.

“Yes, Steve is very thoughtful,” says Diana fondly.

He doesn’t really get a chance to ask her about it, because soon everyone is crowded around the table for breakfast, and that quickly turns into a card game, where they get separated by a few seats. It all somehow blends into lunch, as people swap in and out, Sameer and Noor doing the cooking, this meal, with Adrienne flitting in and out to help as she puts up a few extra lights for tonight’s Christmas eve celebration. He tries not to think about it too much, because Diana looks like she’s having a good time, and he is too, and eventually he gets swept up in the game, focusing on counting trump and keeping track of tricks and arguing genially with Charlie about who may or may not be cheating.

“Steve.” Diana pulls him aside after lunch, tugging him into their room.

“What’s up?” She looks entirely too serious, and it worries him. Is this about their story? Is something wrong?

“First kisses are always a bit awkward,” she says bluntly.

It’s so out of the blue that Steve’s brain doesn’t even short-circuit. He just blinks. “Yeah, usually.”

“Well, I just saw Adrienne putting mistletoe up. Your friends are wonderful people, but if we don’t get caught under it naturally, they’ll make sure we do.”

She’s got his friends pegged; that’s absolutely how they operate.

“They’ll recognize something is off if we’ve never kissed. I think we need to practice.”

Now Steve’s brain short-circuits.

“Practice.”

“It’s the only way to make sure it’s not during an ambush.” Her eyes are wide and she’s very close, so close that one of them could erase the distance without even taking a step, but she’s paused, waiting.

Waiting to see if it’s okay, if she has his consent.

His thoughts flick back, inexplicably, to this morning. (Was it really just this morning that they woke up tangled together? It seems a week ago already.) Knowing what it’s like to kiss her will probably explode his brain, but not knowing is worse. He nods, just a fraction, words caught in his throat, and then she’s closed the distance and pressed her lips to his.

Fireworks are for dramatic novels, but the world still shifts on its axis. It’s soft and slow, exploratory, but the pressure is somehow just right, and it consumes him. It’s everything he never let himself imagine it would be, and more. When she eventually pulls away—seconds, minutes, hours later, he’s not sure—he chases her lips for a moment before remembering himself, marshalling his reaction and pulling away in equal measure.

“Right, so. No mistletoe first kiss,” he manages, because seriously, what the fuck, he’s never had a first kiss feel that natural, that right.

“Mission accomplished,” says Diana faintly. “I think we’ll be fine.”

“Fine,” Steve echoes, and he thinks he sees Diana’s gaze flick back to his lips, dark and heavy, but then there’s the pounding of feet on the stairs and shouts outside their room.

“Steve! Diana! Are you in for another round of cards before we start the movie marathon?”

Diana startles, and takes three steps back, smoothing down her hair, her shirt, before opening the door to find Adrienne there, looking at them expectantly.

“Yes, of course,” says Diana.

“Oh,” smirks Adrienne, giving them a once over. “I can come back.”

“No, it’s alright. I’ll come down now; I want to get a cup of tea before we start up again. Steve?”

“I—yeah, a cup of tea would be great. Black tea—”

“—with a dash of honey, I know,” she says fondly, as if this is old news and not something she’s clearly picked up in the last day and a half.

“Thanks.”

When he collects himself and comes downstairs a few minutes later, he spots Diana across the room, head thrown back in laughter as she chats with Napi over the kettle.

She fits, he thinks. He’s seen her in professional settings, being diplomatic even when she doesn’t want to be, but here, she’s relaxed, and from everything she’s said, she likes his friends as much as they like her. Isn’t it sort of everyone’s dream that the person they like gets along with their friends?

He takes another second to try to untangle his thoughts before he gets ushered back into the fold and has to pretend that everything is uncomplicated.

Christmas day dawns bright and cold, and sees, for the second day in a row, Diana snuggled into Steve. Despite another meandering conversation in the dark—in which he absolutely chickened out of asking her about the backstory she created for them, or the kiss—and starting the night on different sides of the bed, they seem to have rolled together in their sleep, and if he didn’t wake up with an absolutely parched throat, Steve would’ve probably gone right back to sleep, enjoying the warmth. Instead, he extricates himself gently, and by the time he gets back to the room a few minutes later, Diana is up and dressed, dashing any plans he might’ve been entertaining for a bit of a lie-in.

As with most things on their holiday trips, the day is centered around food. There’s a huge brunch, and then a little foray outside—nothing like the hike the day before yesterday, just a little walk that turns into a snow angel contest—and then it’s back inside to start cooking Christmas dinner. It’s Etta and Charlie taking point, because, as Steve explains to Diana, the group rule for any and all holidays is that those who observe do the traditional cooking, and everybody else takes care of the clean-up.

At one point in the afternoon, a trivia game gets pulled out, and in a classic showdown of boys (Steve, Sameer, Napi) vs. girls (Diana, Noor, Adrienne), the ladies trounce them thoroughly. There’re plenty of mimosas and someone starts a Christmas playlist, and honestly, Steve can’t think of a better Christmas in a long, long time.

They don’t really exchange ‘real’ gifts, but they do have a long-standing tradition of an intense game of White Elephant, which happens after dinner.

No less than 4 items (a succulent in a corgi-shaped pot, a coffee mug with some gratuitously dirty language on it, a pair of wool socks with Munch’s The Scream emblazoned on them, and an umbrella patterned with cartoon gentleman amongst the raindrops so that it’s always raining men) get stolen so many times that they hit the limit. (Diana walks away the proud owner of the socks, thanks to a strategic steal by Steve, which sets her up to steal them for the last time.)

The mood is so light that Steve has almost forgotten that this isn’t quite real, that he’s lying to his friends and sort of lying to Diana, too. That comes crashing down when they bump into each other coming back into the living room.

See, Steve and Diana had managed to casually avoid the newly strung up mistletoe all of Christmas Eve and most of Christmas day—at least together, that is; at one point Steve finds himself under the mistletoe with Sameer, and they both dramatically grip each other for a theatre kiss—by sheer luck, but their luck runs out after White Elephant. Steve has gone into the kitchen to deposit an empty tray of food, and Diana is on her way back from the bathroom, and they collide in the doorframe.

Instinctively, Steve puts a hand out, touching the small of her back lightly to anchor himself and steady her. It’s just a casual touch, but he lingers a second too long.

“Oooh, look! Steve and Diana are under the mistletoe!” sings Adrienne, pointing from across the room.

Steve glances up automatically, as though maybe Adrienne might be wrong, even though he knows damn well that there’s mistletoe hanging there.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” chants Etta, clearly a little tipsy, and the rest of his asshole friends join in the chant.

Steve’s eyes flick to Diana’s, and she raises an eyebrow, inclines her head almost imperceptibly. It’s permission, so he leans in and gives her a quick kiss, their lips barely touching. He’s not sure he can handle more in front of his friends right now, not with all of the emotions pooling in his stomach.

“Boo!” yells Charlie. “You and Sameer had a better kiss than that!”

There’s general clamoring of assent, and Diana reaches out and cups a hand to his cheek, to a great whoop from someone in their little peanut gallery. “If you are uncomfortable, we do not have to do this,” Diana murmurs, low and close enough that only he can hear it.

The real problem is that Steve wants little more than to kiss her again, but he feels guilty about it.

“It’s okay.”

She searches his eyes for a moment, and then closes the rest of the distance, kissing him properly. He sinks into it, and relishes in the little gasp he elicits when he deepens the kiss just a little. It’s the catcalling that splits them apart, and he’s sure he looks a little shell-shocked.

“That’s a kiss!” hollers Adrienne.

To his surprise, Diana doesn’t immediately move away from him, but stays tucked into his side, blushing a little.

“You’re all just a little too invested in our love life,” she admonishes lightly, but the point is missed as Etta launches into a bit of a ramble about how Steve introduced her to Adrienne by accident and how she’s been looking to return the favor, but that she’s glad Diana is here.

Steve watches Diana go a bit pink again, and wants to pull her aside, try to clear some things up, but then there’s another round of mulled wine, and they settle in for one last Christmas movie before the day ends.

Diana goes to bed before Steve does, while he stays back to have another round with Charlie, and by the time he realizes that he wanted to talk to her alone, she’s fast asleep.

The morning of the twenty-sixth is chaotic from the start; Diana’s up and out of bed before Steve wakes up, and then everyone is scrambling to pack up before they all drive back to the city. This time, Diana and Steve have got Sameer and Noor with them, because they came with Napi, who’s leaving directly to visit some extended family, and Etta and Adrienne don’t have enough room because they’re Charlie’s ride. It’s a pleasant ride, and Noor, Sameer, and Diana spend a solid half hour swapping in and out of Arabic to tease Steve, who does speak three languages himself, but doesn’t count darija as one of them.

They drop Noor and Sameer off with promises of seeing them at Etta’s party on New Year’s Eve, at the very latest, and suddenly they’re alone again.

“Thank you again for doing this,” says Steve. “You were the best fake date I could’ve asked for.”

“It was my pleasure,” says Diana. “I had a really good time, and a fun holiday.”

“And you really don’t mind putting in an appearance at the New Year’s Eve party?”

“Not at all. I’m actually looking forward to it.”

“Good; I think everyone is looking forward to having you there.”

They’re quiet as they pull up to Diana’s building.

Before Diana can move to get out of the car, Steve takes a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything.” Her wide eyes are trained on him, and he almost loses his nerve.

But it’s now or never; he has to know if this is just him or if she feels something too. “If I had asked you out, that night on the platform, would you have said yes?” It feels like the safest version of the question he wants to ask.

Diana doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

It knocks the wind out of him and is simultaneously one of the best things he’s ever heard, because maybe that means there’s still time to make a proper go of it.

“Do you—”

He’s cut off by Diana leaning forward and kissing him sweetly, and he instinctively pulls her a little closer, deepens the kiss without consciously thinking about it.

“Sorry, I interrupted you,” says Diana, biting back a smile when they eventually pull apart, breathless. It makes Steve laugh, and he can’t fight the grin that’s also building. There’s no one around to fool, no one around even to prepare for; this is just them.

“Do you want to come to mine for dinner tonight?” Steve asks, bubbling with a profound sort of happiness. “For a real date this time?”

“I would love that,” says Diana, grinning. “No tricks, no fake backstories. Just us.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.”

“Just give me a couple of hours to shower and change and answer a couple of emails?” Diana says.

“How does seven sound? I’ll cook.”

“I can’t wait.”

He watches her go, almost floating from how giddy he feels. As he drives home, he mentally goes over what he’ll need to get for the meal he wants to make. Truly, it was the best fake date ever; he might, he thinks, even consider posting the story of it to the r/relationships thread like one of the Craigslist messages asked, because it’s so wonderfully peculiar.

“Right on time!” says Steve with a grin when Diana knocks on his door that evening for their date.

His smile falls when he notices her face, tired and serious, despite how light it had been only hours ago.

“Steve, I have to go,” she says without preamble.

“What?”

“I’m flying back to the Netherlands tonight.” What? That can’t be right; she’s not due back for several months, and even that’s only a trip. Steve’s brain lags a second and then realizes she’s still talking, dark eyes all apologies. “—straight to the airport from here, actually. I just came by to say goodbye. It seemed like the sort of thing that should be done in person.”

“But what—”

“You know who Patrick Morgan is, yes?”

Of course he knows who Patrick Morgan is; he’s a war criminal who was only caught and extradited recently. It made waves when jurisdiction was given over to the ICC, at least among the relevant international communities.

“The war criminal?” he asks, just to confirm.

Diana nods. “That’s the one. Look, I’m not really meant to be talking about my cases, but I’m on the prosecutorial team and his lawyers are good. They’re trying to file a pre-trial motion that would—well, let’s just say it would be bad if the judge ruled in their favor. We’re scrambling and I’m needed back at the office, in person.”

“Shit.” There’s nothing else to say, really. She’s the one who can make sure Patrick Morgan doesn’t hurt anyone else, and that’s that.

“It’s awful timing,” whispers Diana, and there’s true regret in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. You’re doing what has to be done.”

“I wish it didn’t,” says Diana. “I wanted to—I don’t know, go on a proper date and go to your friends’ New Year’s party with you, and this has just—it’s mucked it all up, hasn’t it?”

“An understatement,” says Steve, laughing wetly. Maybe—

“I have to call the ARGUS Foundation from the car, get everything squared away in regards to my commitments there. Gods, this is such a nightmare.” Diana’s pacing now, and Steve can see all their possibilities slipping away, now that she’s returning to the Netherlands. It’s not the most important thing, this casualty of what could have been, but it still breaks a little piece of Steve’s heart all the same.

“I wish we had more time,” says Steve, a little bittersweet, because there’s not much else to say. Diana sends him a sad smile and nods.

“I really have to go. I might even miss my flight as it is.”

“Right, of course.”

She looks at him hesitantly for a moment, like she’s going to say something more, and then pulls him into a hug. As she pulls back, she kisses him softly. It feels like goodbye more than any words could.

Then her phone rings, and she looks at him apologetically one more time, a quick, “I’m sorry,” before taking her leave and answering it. He hears her frustrated Dutch echoing down the hall as she walks away.

After she leaves, he feels a little aimless, and a little numb. It doesn’t quite sink in that Diana is gone, but he does think, absently, that something bad was bound to happen, because nothing catastrophic happened over the holidays—no real fights, no disastrous weather; it all went too smoothly.

The next few days are a slog: he’s back in the office, technically, but everything has slowed down substantially in between the holidays, just enough to not really keep him occupied.

It scares him a little how much he misses Diana. They were sort-of friends before the fake-dating charade, more friendly-coworkers than anything, but he got used to her being a part of his daily life absurdly quickly and is having a hard time adjusting back. They could have been something spectacular, he knows, if circumstances hadn’t made it impossible.

She texts him when she lands, and he’s glad to know she’s made it safely, but it ignites a fresh wave of ache such that he’s almost glad she doesn’t answer his text back, or text again. He ends up ignoring his phone, mostly, trying to distract himself from thinking about what wasn’t meant to be. (It’s bad luck with fate: if they’d had more time, if they were something real, he might consider moving, but it’s too soon, too early, even if he thinks he might already love her.)

On New Year’s Eve, he spends most of the day cooking, Netflix on in the background, whiling away time before the party Etta and Adrienne are throwing.

“Where’s Diana?” asks Etta, when she opens the door and finds Steve there, alone, carrying three tiers of Tupperware and a bottle of champagne, because of course she does. All his friends adore Diana too.

“She had to fly back to the Netherlands for a case,” says Steve morosely, unable to say anymore because he might choke up, and crying is fine but not during a New Year’s Eve party.

“Oh, what a shame she’ll miss New Year’s! When is she coming back?”

The fresh, stricken look on Steve’s face tells Etta everything she needs to know. “Oh, luv, I’m so sorry. I know long distance isn’t easy.”

It’s the perfect excuse presenting itself, really. In a month, Steve can say that the distance was too much, and Etta will understand, and that will be that. He’ll be out of this lie, too, with no one the wiser that it started as a fake thing. But right now, Steve is still mourning the fact that it never got to be anything real in the first place.

“It is what it is,” says Steve, trying for a smile.

“Well,” says Etta, also going for something resembling cheery. “We’ve got plenty of alcohol and a place for you to crash tonight, if you want it.”

“Thanks, Etta.”

He whiles away the night nursing a glass of wine and floating amongst friends and acquaintances, trying to enjoy the merriment. Etta, bless her, must spread the word that Diana had to leave for work, because only Noor asks after her, right after he gets inside. After that, he doesn’t have to answer any further questions, and instead focuses on the laughter and brightness radiating from his friends.

At a few minutes to midnight, he slips off to a quiet corner, not quite ready to face the rowdy, kissing couples.

Somewhere behind him, the apartment door slams, and there’s something of a commotion, but he doesn’t bother to investigate until—

“Did I make it in time?” asks a breathless voice.

Steve turns, and there, standing in front of him, a vision in a bright red coat, is Diana.

“But how—?” She’s meant to be in Europe, but she’s very much not. She’s here.

She’s here.

“We finished a little early and I got the first flight out. I took a cab from the airport to get here as fast as I could.”

“You hate cabs,” says Steve helplessly, fixating on something that’s very much not the point because it’s one of the many strange things they talked about, and because it’s somehow easier to focus on than any other part of it.

“I wanted to be here.” Her eyes are twinkling, and Steve can’t quite believe she’s here, on New Year’s Eve, and—shit.

“But what about the case?”

“We got the motion thrown out,” she exclaims, delight lacing her words. “We’re proceeding as scheduled. I’ll have to go back for a bit starting in May, but—”

That phrasing catches Steve’s attention. “Wait, you’re not moving back to the Netherlands permanently?”

“What?” asks Diana, looking genuinely perplexed. “No! It was just a business trip, inconveniently timed. I was never moving back. Did you think—”

“I thought—” says Steve, at the exact same time.

There’s a look of recognition on Diana’s face, as if she’s doing the maths, going back over the conversations they had once more in her head. She bites her lip, shakes her head. Laughs.

“We are both a bit stupid, I think,” she says. “I was never going to be gone more than a week or two, but I suppose I didn’t make that clear enough. I thought it was just bad timing, since we were starting something, but you—”

Steve shakes his head, incredulous. “I thought I might never see you again, but you’re really here.”

Diana reaches out and ever so softly touches his cheek. “Yes. So, did I miss the countdown?”

Steve stops fighting the smile that’s building. “Nope. And you know, they say whatever you’re doing at midnight you’ll be doing for the rest of the year.”

“Do they? You’d best choose wisely, then.”

“I’ve got an idea.” The countdown hasn’t started yet, but he leans in slowly anyways, because he figures they’ve wasted enough time. She meets his lips eagerly, and in the background, Steve can hear Etta’s whoop of excitement, but really, the only thing that matters is Diana, and the feel of her lips underneath his.

It’s just as earth-shaking as it was the first few times, but they break apart momentarily as the countdown actually begins from the other room. When midnight hits, they kiss again, a little shorter this time, their smiles too wide to make it a proper kiss.

“Happy New Year, Steve,” whispers Diana, forehead pressed to his.

“Happy New Year,” he echoes. An endless plurality of shifting possibilities stretch before them, elastic and hopeful, and very real once more. From the other room, the chords of a piano start, a telltale sign that Charlie has started his traditional rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

“You know, eventually people are going to realize our anniversary isn’t in July.”

That elicits another giddy laugh, because somehow, he’s gotten lucky enough that this is his reality. “Yeah, but that’s a pretty good problem to have, all things considered. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“No,” says Diana thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t either.”

***

#misha-winchester #wondertrevsecretsanta #wondertrevsecretsanta2020 #wondertrev #diana prince #steve trevor #userpine

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wistfulcynic · 5 years ago

Text

Love Blooms

Summary: Princess Emma and Lieutenant Killian Jones have been together for three years. They’re deeply in love and an engagement is imminent. There’s only one problem: His brother doesn’t know about them, and Killian isn’t sure how to tell him. So when Liam finds out by accident, all that’s left is for Emma and Killian to fill him in on the story of how they met.

This is that story.

(a prequel--and sequel--to Error 404: “Little” Brother Not Found)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @mariakov81!!! My lovely, brilliantly talented Masha, you are a pure delight. Your gif responses make me laugh and your art makes me cry. Your enthusiasm and love of fic is so inspiring and your encouragement is one of the reasons I’m still writing. I love you lots. 😘

You mentioned that you’d like to read a meet-cute, so I hope this one pleases you. Have a FANTASTIC day ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rating: G Words: 4.3k Tags: Lieutenant Duckling, Modern Lieutenant Duckling, Modern Royalty AU, Brothers Jones, College AU, Meet-Cute

On AO3

Love Blooms:

It should have worked, really. As risky plans go, it was a pretty solid one. It should absolutely have worked.

Princess Emma was easily recognisable, of course. As the only royal child and heir to the throne she’d been photographed extensively all her life, and those photos disseminated throughout the kingdom. But they were always taken in controlled situations, with her hair carefully styled and her clothing precisely engineered to invoke a very specific image. Her parents made absolutely certain of that.

After the attempted coup by the queen’s stepmother on the day of the princess’s birth, the king and queen had taken decisive action to protect their only child and to ensure that no one but trusted personnel had access to her. On the rare occasions when she left the expansive palace grounds, no paparazzi followed her and none of Misthaven’s citizens so much as snuck a sneaky pic with a cell phone. Emma was to have protection and privacy until she came of age and officially took on her royal duties. That was the deal her parents made with the press and the people, and they enforced it rigidly.

It should have worked. Emma’s most recognisable feature—her long, bright gold hair—was dyed a temporary dirty blonde (her mother nearly cried) and her green eyes shielded by large glasses. Most days she pulled her hair back in a ponytail and wore no makeup. She dressed in jeans and t-shirts, like any other college kid. It was a good plan. It should have worked.

She hadn’t reckoned on Killian Jones.

She’d known him for a few years, sort of. For several months of the summer she was sixteen while his brother served as a member of her personal guard, Killian had hovered around the edges of her world, thin and gawky and usually with his nose in a book. The one time they were introduced he’d gulped visibly and made an awkward bow, then got away as soon as he could. But not before he’d made an impression.

She wasn’t sure what it was about him that caught her eye—possibly the way he seemed to be trying so hard not to catch it, or the size and variety of the books she saw him reading, or the way he would smirk and roll his eyes whenever he heard something he thought inane (which happened fairly frequently; polite conversation at court was not exactly scintillating). Possibly it was just those eyes, the bright, clear blue of them and the intelligence and humour she was sure she detected in their depths. Whatever it was it made butterflies dance in her belly whenever she saw him, and though they exchanged no more than a dozen words in the months he was at court she couldn’t seem to get him out of her head.

“What does your brother do?” she’d asked Commander Jones one afternoon, as casually as she could.

“He’s starting at the university in the autumn,” the commander replied, pride audible in his voice. “Going to study physics and engineering.”

“Wow.” Emma wished she didn’t find that so impressive.

“He’s a smart lad,” said Commander Jones with a grin. “He’ll change the world, mark my words.”

Emma marked them, though she asked no further questions. It wouldn’t do to appear too interested.

That was August. By October Killian Jones was gone from her life and so was his brother, the elder Jones off to serve on Misthaven’s flagship and the younger of course, to the university. And that really should have been the end of it.

Her desire to go to university herself had nothing to do with Killian, it truly didn’t. She hadn’t forgotten he was there, exactly, but her determination to attend had far more to do with her status as heir to the throne and wishing to be as prepared as she possibly could be when she became queen.

“But your tutors have given you the best education you could have,” her mother pointed out. “You’ve studied the history and political structure of Misthaven and all its allies and enemies. You’ve read all our country’s great books and know the history of our art. You speak six languages. That’s far more knowledge than I had when I became queen. What else are you looking for?”

“I want a chance to get to know the people I’m going to be ruling,” said Emma. “That’s one thing you had that I don’t. I’ve spent my whole life in the palace, and I know you kept me here for my own safety but I’m nineteen now and I want to meet people. Real ones. Ones who don’t know I’m the princess.”

“Emma—”

“Just give me a year,” she pleaded. “Just a year to go to college and live like a normal student. I’ll wear a disguise and go by a different name, you can even plant guards around me if you must but please, please just let me do this.”

In the end her parents relented. Her mother, despite her tears at the new hair colour, had been unconvinced that the small changes Emma made to her appearance would be enough of a disguise, but Emma insisted they were plenty and her father backed her up.

“Do you know why no one figured out Clark Kent was Superman?” Emma asked, as King David nodded approvingly behind her. “It wasn’t because putting on glasses was such an intricate disguise. It’s because the idea of Superman working at a newspaper was so completely absurd. No one saw a superhero in an ordinary reporter and no one’s going to see the princess of the realm in an ordinary literature major. People see what they expect to see.”

And they had. All of them. All except Killian Jones.

She really hadn’t reckoned on him.

She settled in well to college life, though it was not the easiest transition going from her own suite of rooms in the palace to a tiny dorm shared with another student, a bright, chatty girl called Ruby. Ruby was easygoing and outgoing and always going. She loved to party and whenever she went out tried to coax Emma along as well, and though Emma really had gone to college with the intent to study, she reasoned that her main aim in being there was to get to know her people, and what better way to do that than at a party?

Which is how she found herself two weeks into her first semester standing in the living room of a run-down student house, sipping valiantly at some locally-brewed ale and trying to remember the names of all the people Ruby introduced her to, and trying to remember that when they said ‘Anna,’ they were talking to her.

She was chatting with a boy called Walsh who had a supercilious smile and, she soon realised, a very high opinion of himself, when her flagging attention was caught by shrieks of laughter coming from the other side of the room. She glanced over in search of their source then immediately looked again, blinking rapidly to keep her eyes from bugging out of her head.

There across the room, surrounded by a largish group of people—one of whom, Emma noted, was Ruby—stood Killian Jones. It was him, she was sure of it, sure that she would recognise him anywhere, but oh, the changes time had wrought on the boy she’d known. She wasn’t sure if he really was any taller but he looked it, standing straight with his shoulders squared. There was stubble on his jaw and hair on his chest, clearly displayed by the undone buttons of his henley, and his eyes—so much brighter when not hidden behind thick glasses—twinkled as he delivered a quip that had everyone around him exploding in fresh peals of mirth.

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, staring so hard she could see the exact moment he sensed her gaze and turned, his own eyes widening immediately in recognition. Of course he recognised her, Emma thought, he would; however older and cooler and hotter he might be now he was still the smartest boy she’d ever met and Superman’s disguise could not fool him.

He stared at her for the longest moment of her life and then he winked—the worst excuse for a wink she’d ever seen—and turned his attention back to his crowd. Emma breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to blow her cover.

She realised with a start that Walsh had kept on talking this whole time and she hadn’t heard a word he said. He seemed to realise that too, finally, and scowled at her.

“Hey,” he said. “Earth to Anna.”

“Sorry.” She offered a polite smile. “My mind wandered.”

“Well, wander it back over here,” he said. “I was telling you all about my Reddit subgroup I started, and you weren’t even listening.”

“Sorry,” she repeated. “Though actually, would you excuse me, I—”

“Are you kidding me?” he snapped, his scowl darkening. “I bring you a drink, come all the way over here to talk to you. All I ask in return is a little bit of attention and you can’t even give me that.”

“I—”

“I’m a nice guy, you know,” he continued, moving closer. “I’d treat you right. Don’t think I didn’t see who you were looking at just now. If you think those guys would treat you better than I—”

“Look, Welsh—” Emma interrupted, bristling at his presumption and his tone.

“It’s Walsh.”

“Yes, sorry, Walsh. Um, I don’t know what you think this is, but we only just met. We’ve been talking for ten minutes and it’s basically been you monologuing about Reddit the whole time. If you’re really looking to connect with people it might be better to ask them something about themselves instead of dominating the conversation.”

“Oh, right, because it’s all about you, isn’t it?”

“That’s not what I—”

“You’re not even that pretty, you know,” he sneered. “Glasses are really unattractive on a woman.”

Emma began to sputter with indignation. No one had ever spoken to her in such a way before and she was outraged to learn that there were men in her realm who felt that it was acceptable to insult women as long as they weren’t royalty, apparently. Walsh smirked as she struggled to find words vile enough to express her opinion of him, and then a deep voice spoke from just over her shoulder.

“Perhaps you’re the one who needs glasses, mate, if that’s what you really think.”

Emma didn’t even need the butterflies leaping up in her belly to know that the voice was Killian’s. Her heart began to pound in time to the butterflies’ dance as she turned to find him standing just behind her, glowering darkly at Walsh. “I’m certain the lady told you she’s not interested, so why don’t you bugger off back to whatever rock you crawled out from under?” he snarled.

“You can’t tell me what to do,” blustered Walsh.

“And yet I just did.”

“Who the hell do you think you are—”

“He’s my boyfriend.” Emma jumped in before the scene could escalate, blurting the first thing that popped into her head. Walsh gaped at her, so astounded that he failed to notice Killian’s own slack jaw and bugging eyes. Killian recovered quickly, however, and casually looped an arm around Emma’s shoulders.

“Aye,” he said. “I am.”

Emma slipped her own arm around his waist, leaning her head against his shoulder and doing her best not to faint. He was surprisingly sturdy and he smelled so good. She wanted to bury her nose in his neck and just breathe.

“So stop trying it on with my girlfriend and piss off,” he said, tightening his arm to tuck her more securely against his side while also managing to loom over Walsh through the sheer force of his personality, despite them being more or less of a height.

Walsh glared at Killian and then at Emma and then back to Killian again, and when neither of them budged he reached out and snatched the cup of ale from Emma’s hand.

“I’ll be taking that back, then,” he huffed, and marched away.

“Thank goodness,” said Emma. “It was not pleasant.”

“Dwarf ale,” remarked Killian. “Not for the faint of stomach.”

Emma chuckled and looked up at him, into those bright blue eyes that had never faded from her memory. He grinned back at her, a grin with an edge it hadn’t had three years ago, and she caught her breath.

“Killian—” she began, then his eyes went wide with horror and his ears flushed bright pink. He pulled his arm away so quickly she stumbled and stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck. “Bloody hell,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Em—er, Your High—”

“Shhhh,” hissed Emma, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a quiet corner. “Careful or you’ll blow my cover. My name’s Anna now. Anna Swan.”

His tense expression relaxed and he raised an eyebrow. “Swan, hmm? Interesting choice.”

“Yeah, it’s a—well, it’s a story. Kind of a long one.”

He smiled, the eager, interested smile she remembered so well. “I have time. If you’d care to tell it?”

He got her a drink, a sweet, fizzy one this time laced with just a few drops from his cup of Glowerhaven rum. They stood close together in the darkened corner and he listened intently as she told him about her childhood fondness for the palace swans, their elegant beauty and terrible manners, and how she’d loved reading the tales of the Swan Princess and the fable of the Ugly Duckling, and how her father had taken to calling her his little duckling after she’d demanded he read her that story at bedtime for three months straight.

“So it just seemed appropriate,” she said with a shrug. “Meaningful, but also it doesn’t give anyone a clue as to who I am.”

“And it suits you,” said Killian. “Swan. Beautiful and fearsome, just like you.”

“I’m not fearsome!” she protested, scowling to cover the blush that heated her cheeks when he called her beautiful.

“Aren’t you?” he asked earnestly. “You terrify me.”

“I do? I don’t wish to.”

“I’m sure it’s unintentional,” he said softly. “And more to do with me being timid.”

“You’re not timid,” she scoffed.

“Much less so than I used to be. And yet—” he took her hand and held it to his chest, just above his pounding heart. “You see?”

Emma gulped and her mouth went dry. His chest was firm and the hair on it rough beneath the fabric of his shirt, his hand covering hers so warm.

“Mine’s the same, though,” she whispered, taking his other hand. With hers still on his chest she could feel his sharp inhale and his heart racing even faster when she laid his palm flat over her own frantic heartbeat.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Their eyes locked, his looking dazed and very dark, the colour high on his cheeks and his breaths audibly harsh.

She licked her lips and his eyes followed the movement, his fingers tightening around hers, his hand on her chest sliding up to curl around her neck. He leaned his head down and she tipped her chin up and their lips were barely a breath apart when a crash and a shriek sounded from the kitchen and they both jumped. Killian squeezed his eyes shut, swearing viciously under his breath as he released her hand and neck and stepped away.

“It sounds like things are winding down here,” he said gruffly. “When glassware starts to shatter, that’s your cue to leave. Bit of advice.”

Disappointment tasted bitter, Emma realised. Bitter and crushing and achy and she hated it. She never wished to feel it again. She nodded in response, unable to speak.

They stood silently for a minute, then Killian sighed. “So, um, may I see you home?” he asked, rubbing at his neck again.

She smiled despite herself. “We’re not at court, Killian.”

“Perhaps not, but I’d still like to walk you back.”

“Yeah.” Her smile came more easily with the next attempt. “I’d like that too.”

He kept his hands in his pockets as they walked the short distance to her dorm, but she was acutely aware of him and how near he was and the faint heat she could still feel from his body. When they reached her building he turned to her and smiled.

“Well, Swan, I hope it won’t be another three years until I see you again,” he said.

“It’s a small campus and I’m here until next summer, so I’d guess probably not.” Not if she had anything to say about it, she thought.

“You’re only staying for a year?” he asked.

“It’s all my parents would permit.”

“Ah. I’ve only this year remaining as well, actually, until I graduate.”

“Graduate? But—in three years?”

He shrugged. “I’ve worked hard.”

It was more than that, Emma knew. He was clever and ambitious and determined to make something of himself. To change the world, just as his brother had predicted. She didn’t know the precise circumstances of the Joneses’ life before they found refuge in Misthaven, but from the few hints Commander—now Captain—Jones had dropped they hadn’t had the easiest of beginnings. That they had already made such a success of themselves was deeply impressive, and Emma suspected they were only just getting started.

“Do you—have far to walk to get home?” she asked, a bit wistfully. It was late and she was tired but she didn’t want Killian to go. She wasn’t ready for their time together to end.

“Just to the other side of campus,” he replied. “I’m here on a military training scholarship so I live with the other cadets. When I graduate I’ll join the navy as a lieutenant.”

“Like your brother.”

“Aye,” he agreed. “Possibly even on his ship.”

“That would be amazing.”

“We think so.”

They were standing close again, in a shadowy recess just to the side of the door, and Emma’s heart was pounding, not again but more like still; it had barely rested since she’d laid eyes on Killian. He was looking at her with a gaze so intense she could swear she felt it caress her lips and gods she wanted him to kiss her. If only she had paid more attention to the gossip among the ladies at court, or even to Ruby’s chatter the past two weeks, then she might have at least some idea of how to make that happen. How exactly did one go about letting a man know one wished to be kissed without actually saying ‘please kiss me’? Maybe she should just say it? Or, as the princess, did she need to kiss him first? What was the protocol here? She was royalty damn it, she couldn’t do anything until she knew the protocol.

Instead she just stared at him, feeling hot and itchy and increasingly desperate until he swallowed hard and drew a deep breath, then stepped back. Again.

“Well. I imagine I’ll see you around, then, Swan.”

Don’t go, Emma’s body screamed, even as her mouth said “I hope so.”

He smiled and gave her a small nod, then headed off down the path away from her building, and from her. She watched him go, simmering with frustration. She should have just grabbed him, she thought, and protocol be damned. Grabbed him and kissed him, because damn it she was not going to be able to sleep tonight for wondering what that would feel like, and wishing she didn’t need to wonder.

With an irritated huff she went to the door, taking her keys from her pocket and sorting through them in search of the correct one. She’d just managed to locate it when a warm hand took her by the elbow and tugged her back into the privacy of the shadows.

“What the—” she exclaimed, and then Killian’s lips were on hers. The keys slipped from her fingers and fell unheeded to the ground as her knees went weak and she grasped at his shoulders for support. He walked her back until she was pressed against the wall, his arm firm around her waist and his fingers tangling in her hair as he kissed her, soft and slow and deep and gods.

Emma whimpered, clinging to him, yearning for things she couldn’t articulate. His hand flexed against her jaw at the sound and just for a moment he pulled her flush against him, insistent yet so gentle, like he wanted to consume her and also never let her go. Then, ever so softly, he broke the kiss.

“Go out with me,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers and stroking his thumb across her chin.

“Hmmmm?” Emma struggled to think through the spinning in her head and the frantic thrum of her blood. “Go where?”

He chuckled. “Let me take you out to dinner. Tomorrow.”

“Like—a date?”

“Aye, Swan, very much like a date. An actual date, in fact.”

She blushed at the gentle teasing but the butterflies in her belly were performing an elaborate pas-de-deux and she felt like she could fly along with them. “I’d like that,” she said.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“All right. Um.” He cleared his throat and stood straight, though his hand remained on her cheek. “I’ll come by here to pick you up. About seven?”

She nodded. “I’m in room 3017. You can call me on the intercom from down here.”

“3017,” he repeated. He stepped back with a swagger in his hips this time, and bit his bottom lip in a way that made her want to drag him up to her room now, no date required.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, love,” he said, his voice dripping with promise, and she smiled.

“Tomorrow.”

“And that’s how it happened.” Emma concludes. “More wine, Captain Jones?” She smiles at Liam who’s gaping at her, slack-jawed. Slowly he inclines his head and pushes his wine glass slightly forward on the table. The three of them are sitting in the small dining area of Emma and Killian’s apartments at the palace, sharing dinner as they fill Liam in on the story of their relationship. As Emma refills his wine glass, Liam turns to Killian and punches him squarely in the shoulder.

“Oi!” Killian cries. “What was that for?”

“I can’t believe you just kissed her like that!” Liam exclaims. “What were you thinking?”

Killian shrugs. “I was thinking I wanted to kiss her.”

“You can’t just up and kiss the princess!” Liam sputters.

“That’s what I was trying to tell myself,” says Killian. “I walked away cursing who she was and reminding myself I had to treat her appropriately, and then I thought but why? If she’d been the normal girl she was pretending to be, I’d have kissed her at the party. So I turned back and, well, you heard the rest.”

“I’m glad he did, too,” says Emma. “It saved me the trouble of hunting him down and kissing him myself. Didn’t help me sleep that night though.” She shoots Killian a saucy look which he returns in kind.

“All right all right, bloody hell,” Liam grumbles. “Could you stop doing that, please?”

“Doing what?” asks Emma innocently.

“I’ve no idea what you mean, brother,” says Killian.

Liam groans and lets his head fall into his hands. “Where’s that wine?” he says.

When dinner is over Liam takes his leave, and Emma offers to walk with him as far as the door to the inner courtyard. They stroll slowly through the wide corridors and Liam waits, knowing she must have something she wishes to say.

“I’m glad you finally know about us.” Emma glances up at him with a rather apologetic smile. “Killian’s been wanting to tell you for ages. He couldn’t say anything at first of course, because no one outside my family and our closest advisers knew I was at the university, but since we began living together he’s felt awful keeping it from you.”

“I understand why he did, though,” Liam replies. “And I’m truly sorry he ever felt that he couldn’t confide in me.” They walk in silence for a few minutes. “Do, er—” he clears his throat. “Do your parents know?”

“They do.”

“And… how do they feel about it?”

“They’re delighted,” says Emma gently, and Liam feels the tension in his shoulders recede.

“Truly?”

“Truly. It was a bit tricky at first, but they adore Killian and they’re happy I’ve chosen someone who will be a true partner to me when I take the throne. They know how essential that is.”

They are approaching the doors to the courtyard, but Emma stops just inside them and turns to face him. “Liam,” she says. “May I call you that?��

“Of course.”

“Liam, I just want you to know that Killian—” Her voice breaks and she blinks rapidly, looking faintly embarrassed. “I—I just—I love him so much,” she chokes out as tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. “Oh, gods I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, lass.” Liam withdraws a crisp handkerchief from his uniform pocket and offers it to her.

“Thank you.” She takes the handkerchief and dabs at her eyes. “I’ve never found it easy to talk about my feelings,” she says once she’s calmer, “and the stronger they are the harder it is. But I need you to know that Killian’s heart is safe with me. As I know mine is with him.”

Liam nods, his chest too tight for the words he wishes he could say. He contents himself with a simple “Thank you.”

Emma smiles and gives him his handkerchief back, squeezing his hand as he takes it. “You’re welcome,” she says. “Brother.”

—

@ohmightydevviepuu @thisonesatellite @kmomof4 @stahlop @darkcolinodonorgasm @katie-dub @teamhook @donteattheappleshook @xhookswenchx @snidgetsafan

#cs fic #cs ff #captain swan #captain duckling #modern captain duckling #cs ff au #modern au #modern royalty #meet cute #college au #brothers jones #love blooms #profdanglaisstuff #mariakov81 #happy birthday masha

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nonsexylucifer · 4 years ago

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Why do people hate season 4 of Community?

I've seen the show a few times through, and I do understand that the writing and stories are the worst of the show, (due to Dan Harmon's firing). However some of the episodes and storyline for that matter, I genuinely enjoy. So for people in new who are like me, lets go through each episode to see what was good and bad. Side note, I originally tried to post this to reddit but it immediately got removed by a moderator. This is also my first time posting to Tumbler.. please be gentle(as a top that's the first time I've ever said that)TL;DR: I believe the only reason people don't like Season 4 is because the bad episodes are so bad, the make the good episodes not worth the while.

History 101: In History 101, I enjoyed seeing The Deans passion for Jeff and the lengths he'd go to keep him at Greendale.

Paranormal Parentage: Admitted unnecessary need of full episode in Pierce's house. We also never knew enough about Pierce's dad to care enough about his death, or it's impact on Pierce himself.

Conventions of Space and Time: Abed trust in someone he's never met feels unlike him. The Characters don't act like themselves in this episode.

Alternative History of the German Invasion: The repetitiveness of trying to get to the study room before the German students bores me. However one of the funniest jokes of the whole season, ( at least to me) at the end of the episode when Jeff and the study group think the the teacher set up the Germans as a ruse to get them to learn a lesson and the teacher just turns them down, it shows all of their vanity for themselves as a group, and individuals.

Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations brings depth to Jeff's character through the story about his need for people to care about him and how he strives to be liked.

Advanced Documentary Filmmaking is really good in my opinion, at least until the last few minutes. Chang is one of my favorite characters so I suppose that could be bias but I do think that its a good episode.

Economics of Marine Biology: They spend the entire episode getting a rich due to come to their school, only to never bring him up again. Also the P.E. teacher storyline is stupid, If you've seen it, you know.

Herstory of Dance: Herstory of dance shows us actual emotion in Abed that we can sympathize with. Rachel to me was like a glasses for Abed, where we could partially understand Abed, but Rachel made him clearer. She was a great character and I was sad to see her go, ( I'll probably bring her up again ).

Intro To Felt Surrogacy: The puppets, greenscreen, and singing are objectively bad. I'm not a big fan of any of the non-film episodes, excluding the Foosball anime scene and Digital Estate Planning.

Intro to Knots: Funny episode that delves into the flaws of the study group and the faculty of Greendale. To me, a big example of the bad writing in Season 4.

Basic Human Anatomy: I like this episode, Annie and Sherley are a great unlikely pair which we've seen in the Season 1 Episode, The Science of Illusion. Troy and Abed's Freaky Friday storyline is weirdly comforting in a way. It's quite hard to explain but I feel like this was the most natural way to do the breakup and, as I will later weirdly rant about, I don't really care for their relationship. But this makes me actually sad for the two of them, or in this case three.

Historic Origins: I love this episode. The way the stories intertwined, with individual stories that actually made sense to the respective characters. Really good episode over all.

Advanced Introduction to Finality: I think the only reason I don't like this episode is because they stole it from Dan Harmon. The widely regarded best episode of the whole show, Remedial Chaos Theory, was perfectly crafted so that you learn little details in each different timeline, leading all the details to come together in the darkest timeline. It is unobjectively smart, and widely considered funny. Then for the season 4 finale, they throw the very anticipated follow-up episode out a GOD DMAN WINDOW. I apologize for yelling, but Dan Harmon could have done so much better if the writer didn't need to fill another episode slot. Also a sad excuse of a paintball episode.

If anyone is still reading, why, my opinion shouldn't matter this much, but if I still have your attention let me rant about some storylines.

Jeff and Pierces Father/Son Dynamic: Their characters work so weirdly well together. Jeff needs a father figure, any father figure and I think he finds that in Pierce weather he likes it or not. Pierce is objectively a not to great person, but that doesn't matter. Pierce shows Jeff that he needs to take other peoples feelings into consideration. I get a feeling the Pierce gained something from Jeff in the sense that Pierce has these decades of knowledge, although be it sometimes bad knowledge, that he needs to get out. He gives this knowledge to Jeff throughout the season before he dies. To me in a weird way, Pierce lives on through Jeff.

After credit darkest timeline scenes: See #13.

Troy and Brita's relationship: It just feels wrong to me. I have a friend who actually wishes that the pair stayed together. To me they just lacked chemistry. Do you remember in high school when you dated that one person that you throughout you had feelings for but when you look back at the relationship the only reason you stayed together was because you saw each other every day and you didn't hate them, which applied to almost every girl in high school because you kind of just wanted to feel some kind of emotion that was never shown to you by your parents... (r/oddlyspecific ) … that's what Troy and Britta feel like to me.

Jeff's hair: What in the actual fuck is Jeff's hair in Season 4.

Chang/Kevin's ties to Greendale City College: I feel like the writers added this storyline after filming so they had to do reshoots to put it in afterwards.

I expect this to die in new and no one to read this, but on the off chance someone does, comment on what you agree or disagree with, I would love to start a conversation about this great show. If anyone, be it people in new, or people who want to know my worthless opinion for some reason, thank you for listening, I needed to rant about something and this seemed to be the most harmless and prevalent thing, seeing as I am watching Season 4 as I'm typing this. And incase I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

#community #season 4 #worthless opinion #who cares #its too late to type a short form paragraph about a tv show #why did someone let me stay up to type this #why did my parents let me live #i should be the posterchild for abortions #im too lost in the tags #someone save me #if you couldn't guess #im a mentally broken pan-sexual #alphabet mafia

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dipplie · 4 years ago

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Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

#Super Long #Characters #OC's #ALL my characters so far

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kob131 · 4 years ago

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Geez, this person really went all out with this BS rant against the show/staff. www(.)reddit( lcom/r/RWBY/comments/kiqatg/why_rwby_will_always_be_an_okay_show/

... You know I have been trying to step away from directly addressing RWBY bullshit. But...fuck it here.

If you ever talked to me about how I felt about RWBY, I would say that RWBY pre-Volume 8 has been a touchy subject for me. I felt very validated by two videos, "Why RWBY is Disappointing" and "The White Fang Problem".

Yes yes, and people with parental issues feel validated by their abusive spouse. That means nothing, especially given that one of those videos you mentioned is riddled with bullshit.

"Why RWBY is Disappointing" validated my criticism of RWBYs writing. The fact that Miles and Kerry can't and refuse to take any kind of criticism that doesn't hurt their feelings is complete [insert bad word here]. All criticism is going to hurt your feelings. Yes, you should probably ignore the long winded rants that make themselves out to be self important- why is there a mirror here? But there is truth to all criticism.

And there’s a kernel of truth in the best lies- they’re still LIES.

Not to mention the video you mentioned here (which I am assuming is Hbomberguy’s) pulls the SAME SHIT it calls out. Like say...decrying critics pesonally attacking the writers...while proclaiming Jaune and Neptune as self inserts even though Miles AND Kerry is on the record saying that at least Jaune isn’t written by his voice actor.

I'm currently learning about Branding and how important it is to know your audience. Take self.care breaks, talk with someone you trust. Someone who isn't Miles or Kerry! If your reading this. An outside perspective can help. The reason I say that is because if you two constantly talk to each other you're going to end up in an echo chamber. TALK TO FIONA! She's literally your target audience!

Because hey, a man who contradicts himself numerous times and made personal attacks on the creators that only the most malicious and self righteous do is SOOOO trustworthy right?

Remember that tweet Hbomb brought up in his video as an example of criticism the creators should listen to? The one that demanded Miles get back to work and tried to use the catchphrase of his dead friend to manipulate him?

What a fucking target audience.

I know they mentioned ‘Fiona’ (likely the character’s voice actress) but there’s a supposed fan, one that pretty much sums up the critics, and a perfect example why it gets tossed out.

Moving on, the other video validated something I wish it didn't. "The White Fang Problem" brought to light something I knew was there but either ignored or I wasn't thinking. The White Fang has always made me a little uncomfortable. As a minority, it didn't translate well in my head. The minority are the bad guys. The Civil rights group were the bad guys. I brushed it off for a long time but after that video I couldn't.

Ah huh. So uh, the existence of Blake, Ghira, Kali, Sun, Illa, Velvet, Neon ect. is just incovienable to you huh? And don’t give me that ‘But civil rights group!’- The first episode had them break up a peaceful protest and it’s repeatedly hammered home that the current White Fang doesn’t give a SHIT about equal rights. And no, that concept is not racist- Judging from a story I read, that happened to the New Black Panthers in REAL LIFE.

It became a moral issue. Watching RWBY became a moral issue. RWBY is still pushing right wing talking points.-

Being right of you is not right wing, Especially given how you just acted.

I dont believe Miles and Kerry are racist. I do believe that Miles and Kerry both hold skewed beliefs in what right and wrong is.

Projection.

The way Miles and Kerry treat self defense and protest shows that they know nothing about being Black. They didn't do their research. They didn't talk to minorities about how they were being portrayed. They simply believed that they were right and we were wrong.

Ah huh, ah huh, ah huh-

Monty wrote the White Fang this way. You know, the ASIAN man of FOUR NATIONALITIES. So uh, congrats on saying at the absolute most- Nothing.

Now these two videos are old news. They've been posted on this very same subreddit. But you can't go around and say how much of a progressive and open minded individual you are when the fact that RWBY is a racist show and treats minorities very badly. So no one talks about them.

Or that, as I showed: these videos are bullshit.

Also its kinda homophobic too, not because of Bumblby but because despite Tera and Saphorn being a happy married couple they never kiss on screen. Have you seen happy married couples? Have you seen gay happy married couples? They literally do nothing but kiss. Its cute and adorable and deserves to be spread as far and wide. Despite the show having two straight couple kisses, granted one was in Volume but still, they couldn't get the married couple to kiss? Just saying.

... And not all gay couples are the same, even if I’m sure you’re thinking of TEENAGERS.

You know, judging people based on a preconcieved notion (AKA stereotyping) is pretty fucking bigoted itself...

Watch people be in the comments typing away that this isn't a romance show and how I shouldn't expect romance in an action adventure show despite the long list of evidence to the contrary.

Ah yes, that long list of ONE kiss by a TORPEDOED SHIP.

Such convincing rhetoric.

So you can see I was not coming into Volume 8 with my rose colored glasses. I'm sure many of you hate me because of all my comments, but I don't care. I was ready to leave RWBY. I didn't care. RWBY had taken up so much of my life but I don't care. I was not going to support a show that didn't improve.

Ah huh-

You just came in with jade-colored glass and accepted anything that validated you instead of questioning yourself. You talk about branding but that’s ALL you’ve branded yourself as.

So I watched. And something happened. Something strange. RWBY was moving in a direction I didn't expect it to. Oscar got what he deserved. The Heros were oblivious to the danger that is Salem. Things were headed in the direction that would change the characters forever. It'll be just like Beacon but better. And then they had to ruin it.

Oh we are about to get some real bullshit.

Oscar somehow convinces Hazel to betray Salem. What could have been an avenue to a multi season story arc for Oscar that included the stories villains became a shitty uninspired redemption arc. Kill me.

No he didn’t and this has been something hinted at since Volume 4.

There's still hope for the season but at this point I lost all hope.

This is the scene that killed Volume 8 for me. Oscar should not be the one who defeats Salem. In fact he should be an avenue to learn more about the villains. He served his purpose with the heroes, now he has a new arc with the villains. Oscar doesn't turn evil, but he's like a conscious. Salem doesn't want to kill him because he can be useful in finding the last remaining relics and maidens.

Assumptions.

Oscar has a heart to heart with all the villains including Salem. Oscar learns to be his own man and accepts he's now one with Ozma but he doesn't have to be another Ozma. He doesn't have to make the same decisions.

Its a great Arc for Oscar. It also makes sense for his character. Ozma feels Salem is pure evil but Oscar can learn for himself.

Headcanon.

But they won't do that. Instead they're going to take the easy way out. Like always.

Bias getting in the way.

Miles and Kerry love wrapping up each season in a little bow. This is why RWBY is so okay.

They say as every RWBY Volumes ends in a cliffhanger.

This is Beacon but if Miles and Kerry thought that RWBY should still be in Beacon. This is Beacon but without major character death. This is Beacon but the main villain loses because the heroes can't lose. Cinder isn't threatening. None of the villains are. Salem is in a Grimm! She should know everything! Why is there no creativity? Why is she not an over powered mess in A GRIMM!? Her own domain?! Why are the writers writing her not as a powerful goddess reaffirming her as a threat but as a human being. Yes I know what that sounds like but hear me out.

‘None of the villains are threatening!’

‘WHY IS THE MAIN VILLAIN NOT BEING TREATED AS THREATENING LIKE I THINK SHE IS!’

‘Why is there no creativity?’

‘DO THE MOST UNCREATIVE THING POSSIBLE!’

How about I keep mocking you?

If Salem can be out smarted by a 10 year old boy, why did it take Ozma so long to defeat her? Oscar should fail. RWBY should fail. They should go through character arcs that help them better understand Salem. Because that's how you defeat Salem.

Pushing your own thoughts onto the show. Also assumptions AGAIN.

I always believed that Ozma and Salem are very similar to Ruby and Weiss. Yes I know how it sounds but it makes sense.-

Too bad your AU fanfic doesn’t matter.

But they won't. Miles and Kerry will use Oscar to defeat Salem. Why? Who knows at this point. I dont know why Miles and Kerry keep pushing Oscar into the spotlight. Its exactly how they treated Jaune Pre-Volume 7. Jaune had to be the focus so often we hated him. And they're doing it again with Oscar

Ah huh. You know, the whole NOTHING Jaune did in Volume 6 was SOOO spotlight stealing, along with his REMOVAL FROM THE CAST FOR SEVERAL EPISODES.

Wanna bet this is another case of ‘penis on screen, me hate’?

They refuse learn and they refuse to improve. If Volume 8 doesn't improve im leaving RWBY. It doesn't matter to any of you. I'm saying it more for myself. So I don't continue with a show that constantly disappoints me. But more so, I don't support a show that views people like me as lesser. If the writing improves it proves that they can grow and get better but if it doesn't it means they will continue to treat Faunus as misguided and horrible characters. And I refuse to support a show that uses my likeness to get brownie points from people who are unaffected by such messages.

A. No, that’s who refused to do self reflection and improve.

B. Should have done that in the first place.

C. No, once again- You blind yourself from the shit that disproves you.

D. You heard him- Treat the Fanaus like shit and make the humans in the right. You know, the opposite what the show is doing now since it’s SOOO horrible.

E. You are not the center of the universe.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years ago

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WHY STARTUP IDEAS

If they don't need you, it will help later stage investors as well. In industrialized countries we walk down steps our whole lives and never think about this, because there's an infrastructure that prevents such a staircase from being built. But there will be things that appealed particularly to men, or to people from a certain culture. One reason investors like you more when you've had some success at fundraising is that it also means there's no such thing as good art, and even now I find it kind of weird. How much you should worry about being an outsider may be to imagine now, manufacturing was a growth industry in the mid twentieth century. The plan was to put art galleries on the Web even now, ten years later. We will eventually, and that's why most people who try fail so miserably.1

How much funnier a bunch of kids with webcams can be than a front page controlled by editors, and how you write one great book and ten bad ones, working on things the eminent have working for them; they were too successful raising money. Actors do. While we were visiting Yahoo in California to talk about art simply being good or bad. Wozniak's work was a classic example: he did everything himself, hardware and software, and with their brand name, capital, and distribution clout, they'll take away your market overnight. Civil liberties make countries rich. It is by no means a lost cause trying to create a stampede, but merely to explain the forces that generate them. The professor who made his reputation by discovering some new idea is not merely ten people, but is good quality eavesdropping so important that it would affect where you chose to live? Certainly Bill is smart and dedicated, but Microsoft also happens to have been the idea that each person has a natural station in life. But kids are so bad at making things, the craftsmen. In both cases, what it all comes down to. He invested in Google. It says a great deal of play in these numbers.

The problem is that big projects tend to grow out of small ones. When you're running a startup, the Y axis will take care of you: they'd try not to fire you, cover your medical expenses, and support you in old age. They remind us that it is the people who use interrogative intonation in declarative sentences. If a fairly good hacker is worth $80,000 worth of work, like spamming, or starting a company that will do something cool, the aim had better be good, because it's hidden behind a thick glass wall and surrounded by a frenzied crowd taking pictures of themselves in front of a computer and create wealth. These too are engaging in the wrong way to do it is to be strategically indecisive: to string founders along while trying to come up with startup ideas on demand. So don't worry about the increasing gap between rich and poor, you have to pick startups before they've got a hit—either because they've made something great but users don't realize it yet, like Google early on, or because they're still an iteration or two away from the big hit, like Paypal when they were young. In a rapidly growing market, you don't worry too much about efficiency.

How does responsibility constrain you? Economic power would have been a successful company, but also at decision points along the way. In the old days, the standard m. Stock is not the word. One is that you can't do it by generating wealth instead of stealing it. So you have two choices about the shape of the problem is that the message there is: you should live better. A society that trims its margins sharply will kill them all. I'm old enough to remember that art has an audience.

So someone investigated, and sure enough, that as you grow older, life should become more and more surprising. I'd always considered ambition a good thing. Reproduced by permission of Steve Wozniak. It seems only about 1 in 10 startups succeeds. This group says one thing. I wouldn't want it to grow as large as Digg or Reddit—mainly because that would dilute the character of the site, but also at decision points along the way. Surely many of these people would like a site where they could raise millions from VC funds if they hadn't first raised a hundred thousand from Andy Bechtolsheim.

If you're a founder in the middle of the pond there are overlapping sets of ripples. You're short of money. But disappointing though it may be that reducing investors' appetite for risk, the most powerful motivator is the prospect that one of their competitors will buy you. Essays should do the opposite. I'm using now, and you've made something so great that it's growing at 5% a week. Both founders and investors tend to take these for granted. In big companies software is often designed, implemented, and sold by three separate types of people. Everyone I can think of any x people said that about, you help everyone who uses your solution. But not quite. Judging startups is hard even for the best investors. There are two differences: you're not saying it to your boss and say, I want to take a break from working, I walk into the square, just as there are in the real world. Instead of trading violins directly for potatoes, you trade violins for, say, being toxic to humans is: it's good art if it consistently affects humans in a certain way.

But he wouldn't, so we were pretty excited when we figured out what seemed to us the optimal way of doing shopping searches. That's the paradox I want to know whether something will nurture or squash this quality, it would be more fun. They can do risky things, and we think as it spreads outward it will help later stage investors as well. And why do they so often work on developing new technology? You couldn't get from your bed to the front door if you stopped to question everything. I walk into the square, just as they do in the real world. Chasing hot deals doesn't make investors choose better; it just makes them feel better about their choices. Object-oriented programming is a useful technique in some cases, but it does at least make you keep an open mind. They're too busy trying to spend all their time doing that. The time was then ripe for the question: if the beachhead consists of people doing something lots more people will be doing in the future and you build something cool that users love, it may matter more than outsiders think.

But if you find someone else working on the Manhattan Project. I once spent a month painting three versions of a still life I set up in about four minutes. Beware, though, because later investors so hate to have the lowest income taxes, because to take advantage of direct contact with the medium. It was obvious to us as programmers that these sites would have to be generated by software. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations. Companies are not set up to reward people who want to live where the smartest people and get them to come to America can even get in? Paris, New York is recognizing the same thing at different stages in its life: economic power converts to wealth, and in addition the people who make it. For example, in theory the purpose of a company.

Notes

Norton, 2012.

Thanks to Marc Andreessen, Robert Morris, and Jessica Livingston for reading a previous draft.

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emaardigihome-blog · 4 years ago

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cherrylattesims · 6 years ago

Photo

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

I got tagged by the lovely @cloud-9-sims!

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Tags: @magnoliasimmer, @simeaz, @ladykendalsims, @strawberry-milkshake-stuff, @oaski, @kseandra and uhhh everyone else that wants to!

all questions are under the cut

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Y’all can call me Cherry tbh

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? whatsyourface

3. BIRTHDAY? sadly

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? harry potter

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? everyday when I work retail hell (it’s me, i’m the ghost)

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? I don’t play favourites

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? records or go home

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? cuberdon.

9. WHAT WORD OR PHRASE WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? noice

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? thank u, next

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? weeeeeeell

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? thank u, next

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? any HP one

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? really?

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? who set you up to this, don’t use my fears against me

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? hahahaha

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? where do I start

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? corgi’s.

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? sweater season

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yes it’s been seven years I think he caught on

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? simplicity

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? my best friend

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? grey-green-blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? poo colour

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? what is love

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? baby don’t hurt me

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? no more

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? nope

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Sims

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? pokemon probs

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my boyfriend

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? are you?

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? looking into the fridge and not finding anything to eat

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? neither

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? gaming

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? no idea tbh

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? a simple request

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? /

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? corgi

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hiddenspringss, @poiresims, @paechay, @magnoliasimmer, @sim-bubble I have so many more so sorry if I didn’t tag you I hate this question I like all of the blogs I follow :)

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? invisibility! oh wait

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? my bed

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? petty revenge

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? hahahaha

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? alcohol

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I don’t remember.

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? No.

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yep

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? taller

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN?

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? my future

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when I close my eyes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? no

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? no

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my bed

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in a house

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? does a boyfriend count

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i’m an afternooner

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? see the above answer

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? bit of everything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? /

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yes

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? these damn questions

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? either is fine

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? english and law

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? if you mean do I have to share my inheritance then yes

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? things I don’t need but wanted

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′8 (172cm)

75. CAN YOU COOK? i’ve yet to poison anyone with what I make so

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? seeing the end of these questions, finishing these damn questions, not having to fill in these questions

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? these damn questions not ending already, all 125 of these questions, these damn questions

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? probably equally who’s counting

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? straight

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? in an appartment

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my boss

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? last year hurrr

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? cowchop

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? hahahaha

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? reddit is fun

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? good enough

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Gallifreyan

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? london

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 22

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? i’m clumsy as hell so no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? eh

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? spaceeeeeeeeeee

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? yea

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? dust so watch out new avengers movie i’ll be sneezing a lot

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? no

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no lmao

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever I’m wrong

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU?

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? am I?

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? hufflepuff

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yes

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? extrovert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? no filling these in is already too much hassle

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? yes

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? depends who saw

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? ye

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? nope

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? nope

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? bella goth

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nope

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? don’t do this to me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? nope

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? maybe someday

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? this really smart kid

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? hahaha nope not reliving that

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? more like do I ever sleep

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? black like my soul

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? yes

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 26

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Do I think? Does a submarine swim?

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory

#nonsims #get to know me tag #im so glad i got through this wow #also my selfsim looks nothing like me #but its my simstyle #sooo #also sorry mobile users for the scrolling

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catsaar · 6 years ago

Photo

GET TO KNOW ME

TAGGED BY @magnasimblr (thank you! I think haha)

Traits: Cat Lover, Creative, Non-Committal

1. What is your full name? Sara 2. What is your nickname? Don’t really have a nickname, well people tend to use my last name for that but not going to spill that here 3. Birthday? June 21 4. What is your favorite book series? Game of Thrones 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Aliens yes, ghosts nah. 6. Who is your favorite author? Jack Kerouac 7. What is your favorite radio station? Radio? Radio? What? Gimme Spotify 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Salty things 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Cool 10. What is your current favorite song? Sometimes I have no music periods for a short while, currently going through one of them 11. What is your favorite word? Bishdafaken, courtesy of @lordkiribatisims and yaaassss 12. What was the last song you listened to? 6Lack - Switch 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Bojack Horseman, Fargo, How to make a murderer, Love, Idunno I watch a lot of different things 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind 15. Do you play video games? yaaaassss 16. What is your biggest fear? my place being burned down with my cats in it 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’m an empath 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I can be lazy 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? obvi cats, but I like doggos too 20. What is your favorite season? Summer 21. Are you in a relationship? to quote @magnasimblr *runs away* 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having no responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? Matthias 24. What is your eye color? Blue/grey 25. What is your hair color? Pink 26. Who is someone you love? my cats Lowie, Lucky and Arya, my mom and stepdad and my best friends 27. Who is someone you trust? my mom, my best friends 28. Who is someone you think about often? my cats, yeah I’m that crazy cat lady 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? not easily excitable anymore, I guess seeing the end of my depression 30. What is your biggest obsession? my cats I guess, seeing as they keep returning in my answers 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Buffy 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my bff Matthias 33. Are you superstitious? Nope 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? being in large crowds. 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? def behind 36. What is your favorite hobby? my cats (duh), traveling, the sims 37. What was the last book you read? don’t remember, it’s been a while 38. What was the last movie you watched? I think that was Doctor Strange, it’s been a long time, been more into series 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? unfortunately none 40. What is your favorite animal? do I still have to say? CATS 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? so many, but I guess, @budgie2budgie @whiisker @a-kind-red @mellocakes @simmerberlin Don’t be offended if I didn’t name you you’re prolly in my top 10 42. What superpower do you wish you had? flying 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? at home, in my trusted couch 44. What makes you smile? my friends, my cats, reddit discord bs, the sims, animal gifs 45. What sports do you play, if any? none at the moment. 46. What is your favorite drink? Orange juice 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? this summer 48. Are you afraid of heights? no I managed to overcome that 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? people smacking while eating 50. Have you ever been to a concert? oh boy have I 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? I never figured it out 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? San Myshuno with Calum and Pandora 54. What is something you worry about? The future and climate change 55. Are you scared of the dark? Nope 56. Do you like to sing? yes but you don’t want me too 57. Have you ever skipped school? once 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? hmmmm hard one, San Francisco I think 59. Where would you like to live? where I live iz good 60. Do you have any pets? I think that’s pretty clear by now 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl fo sho 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets 63. Do you know how to drive? even tho I have my license, I haven’t driven in 12 years so I don’t think I can anymore, also I hate it 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? Yes 66. What is your favorite genre of music? I’ve gone through so many styles and I still like em all but atm feeling hiphop. 67. Who is your hero? Hunter S Thompson 68. Do you read comic books? not anymore 69. What makes you the most angry? inhumanity 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? real books for the win 71. What is your favorite subject in school? psychology 72. Do you have any siblings? I have an adopted sister. 73. What was the last thing you bought? food 74. How tall are you? 177 cm 75. Can you cook? Yesss 76. What are three things that you love? lol you gonna make me repeat it, my cats! And since I have 3 that will do for this answer 77. What are three things that you hate? ignorance, sexism, racism 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? more male friends, one of the homies 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight, altho probs bordering to asexual 80. Where do you currently live? Belgium 81. Who was the last person you texted? my friend Chloé 82. When was the last time you cried? last Thursday 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? Safiya Nygaard atm 84. Do you like to take selfies? no thanks 85. What is your favorite app? Spotify and Tumblr 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? love my mom and stepdad, my bio dad is a big nope 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? a Frenchman speaking English 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Australia 89. What is your favorite number? 4 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? o no 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? outer space! 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? definitely but not atm due to my depression 94. Are you allergic to anything? only to a certain lip balm that sets my lips on fire 95. Can you curl your tongue? yes 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? if I’m wrong, I’m wrong 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? beach 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? believe in yourself 100. Are you a good liar? yes but only white lies 101. What is your Hogwarts House? I’m going to offend someone but I never got into Harry Potter sorry 102. Do you talk to yourself? best convo ever. 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? normally an extrovert, ENFJ 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? nah 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes, but strike three and you’re out 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? I have before and left it at the front desk of the place I was at 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes and no 108. Are you ticklish? no emotions 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yes, I lost count 110. Do you have any piercings? no, the ones in my ears grew close a long time ago 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Bojack Horseman 112. Do you have any tattoos? yes, 4 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? just go with the flow and do 114. Do you believe in karma? hmmm undecided 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses, but only when I need to see far 116. Do you want children? o no no no 117. Who is the smartest person you know? Idunno, I think most of my friends are pretty smart 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? let’s not go there 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? too many times 120. What color are most of you clothes? black 121. Do you like adventures? yes altho I have calmed down quite a bit 122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah 123. How old are you? 35 looking like 27 and never growing up 124. What is your favorite quote? "the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” - Jack Kerouac 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory

I tag @artemisa02 @mangostefan @lovearound5am @simsontherope @toffeetip @lordkiribatisims (if you’ve already done this I’m sorry I’ve seen so many pass by I don’t remember) Also don’t feel like you have to cus it’s a lot.

#tag game #simself #catsaar

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zmediaoutlet · 6 years ago

Note

Why are anons getting mad at you about eye colour? This is confusing. Also my eyes are brown

lol, who knows what that tells us about you. Maybe you have Warm Brown Eyes and are therefore a Good Person? On the other hand, maybe because brown eyes are the opposite of blue (which are heroic) then you’re secretly an evil mcevilton. Who can say. Maybe your actual actions will have to speak for you and do the work of characterization.

--as far as why mad, haha, god knows. I still hope it was a joke. Two jokes. I think there’s an actually interesting thing to look at with how tired appearance ‘tropes’ were built up via folk tales but then are subverted and inverted and whatnot, but in any kind of modern writing that’s just the height of silliness. Like “glasses mean the character is smart” or “big boobs make you a bimbo.” How many dumbasses do you know who can’t see? How many E cups are attached to serious nerds? Bad writing actually relies on these things as characterization crutches--think of Two Broke Girls or the Big Bang Theory--but ideally we aren’t doing bad writing, right?

A great and relevant thing on writing I read recently, on reddit:

A lot of people are annoyed with the over-done descriptions of eyes. But really, no mention of eye color is probably best. You don’t actually need to give a meticulously detailed physical description at all. It’s not usually relevant, and it does no more to humanize a character than reading someone’s driver’s license will tell you revealing details about who they are.

When it comes to describing appearance, you should bring it up organically, and only when it’s relevant. Starting your story by subjecting the reader to five minutes in the Skyrim character creator with you at the controls is wildly boring, and no one will remember all of your precious details anyway.

The reader will imagine the character how they want to, and you can add relevant details to that as you need to. Until then, work on showing who the character is based on the interesting things they say and the decisions they make, not their ice-blue eyes, perky tits, and totally awesome outfit.

#writing #and hopefully that's the end of the matter #stargazingbros

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

Text

When Harry Met Enid

by Dan H

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

In which Dan dismisses Harry Potter as a jolly hockey-sticks boarding school romp.~

My childhood was almost embarrassingly suburban. We lived in a semi-detached house with privet hedges. I spent my evenings doing my homework, watching Children's BBC or reading. To fully round out the picture of cosy BBC normalcy, I should add that my preferred reading material, as a child, was a mixture of Roald Dahl and Enid Blyton.

I always preferred Dahl. His stories were strange, macabre, often surreal. His worlds were familiar yet peculiar, whimsical and disturbing. They were nice places to visit, but you most certainly wouldn't want to live there. It is perhaps interesting to note that, Great Glass Elevator aside, Dahl never went back to his worlds once the book had finished. His stories were self contained, they began at the beginning, and stopped at the end.

Blyton, of course, created a very different world. Teams of children with solid dependable names like Dick and Anne had very proper adventures while drinking lashings and lashings of ginger beer. Unlike Dahl, Blyton did write long-running series, the St Clare's and Malory Towers books followed the same cast of characters through their stint at boarding school, and of course the Famous Five and Secret Seven had endless adventures. Unlike Dahl, Blyton's world was ultimately a safe place, and gender aside I would have been quite happy to spend a summer term at St Clare's. I was and still am guiltily fond of Enid Blyton's 1950s utopia: it's nice sometimes to forget about the troubles of the real world, and escape to one where hardened criminals get their comeuppance at the hands of a gang of plucky twelve year olds.

A lot of people (JK Rowling first amongst them) like to talk about how much more there is to Harry Potter than to other children's books. They talk about the real danger that Harry faces, about how terribly, terribly dark Rowling's world is, and about how it's all very serious and mature. One Times reviewer, comparing Potter to the Worst Witch series writes:

But though Mildred, the Worst Witch, like Harry Potter, gets into scrapes with bullies and teachers, there is never a twinge of real terror in Murphy's imaginary world. Harry Potter experiences not only the ordinary trials and triumphs of the boarding-school genre, but repeated attempts to murder him.

This critic, I think, misses two important points. Firstly, while I admit that my memory of The Worst Witch is a little hazy, I am fairly certain that there actually is a villain in TWW who actually does have a plan to kill everybody in the school. Secondly, the repeated attempts to "murder" Harry are carried out by the most ineffectual, bungling, non-threatening group of incompetents ever to grace the pages of a children's book. Harry Potter's encounters with the Death Eaters are no more frightening than the Secret Seven's frequent run-ins with thieves and smugglers, and they represent no greater physical danger.

Now, I don't think this is a weakness in itself. When Harry and Ron confront the troll in Philosopher's Stone it's a genuinely exciting scene. We understand that Harry and Ron are willing to risk their lives for their friend thereby displaying the cardinal virtues of Courage and Friendship and Pluckyness. This scene is in no way marred by the fact that I do not on a rational level actually expect Harry, Ron, or Hermione to be killed. However, I do not think that the troll-fighting scene involves any more danger or sacrifice, or has any greater merit than (for example) the bit in The Naughtiest Girl in the School where Elizabeth risks detention in order to buy a birthday present for her less wealthy best friend. Both sequences involve the protagonist choosing to place themselves in danger (either physical danger in the case of Harry, or social danger in the case of the Naughtiest Girl) in order to help a friend. It doesn't matter whether the risk is of death or of detention, the point is the decision that the character makes, and the consequences that follow from it.

Thinking about it, it's this fixation on the physical events of the series (Harry Gets Attacked, Harry Goes Into The Dark Forest, Harry Fights Death Eaters), rather than the narrative points behind those events, which is responsible for most of the utter tosh that gets written about Harry Potter. The fans say "Harry Potter is placed in real, physical danger, this means that the Harry Potter series is Dark and therefore Good" the detractors say "Harry Potter is not placed in real, physical danger, this means that the Harry Potter series is Not Really Dark and therefore Not Really Good." Both of these groups of people completely miss the point. Harry Potter is a children's series about the importance of friendship and courage. Whether it chooses to illustrate those points with midnight feasts and ginger beer or with trolls and dragons and the occasional deaths of significant characters is completely beside the point. It is what it is, a children's adventure story set in a boarding school, with some wizards in it.

And that should be the end of it, and it would have been had something peculiar not happened to the series around about book four.

Harry Potter books 1-3 are excellent children's books. They combine exciting adventure with boarding school cosiness to produce thoroughly engaging stories about wizards and magic and the importance of friendship and courage. Books four to six (and I strongly suspect book seven will follow suit) are sub-par fantasy about Wizards and Magic.

Normally, this wouldn't annoy me as much as it does. It'd be a shame, but I'd cope. However I actually think that the course taken by the Potter books has actually had a detrimental effect on Children's Fiction as a whole.

It is absolutely right and correct to say that books for children are in no way inferior to books for adults. It is absolutely true that children are capable of dealing with issues far more complicated than adults give them credit for. Unfortunately this leads some people to the conclusion that there should be literally no difference between children's books and books for adults or, worse, that the merits of a children's book should be weighed according to how similar it is to a book for adults.

So many of the things which the later Harry Potter books are praised for the richness of the world, the complexity of the overarching plot are attributes which belong to adult, not children's fiction. That is not to say that children's fiction cannot be complex, but that its complexities should lie in areas other than the intricacies of the backplot and the precise functioning of Horcruxes.

To put it another way: Snape in the first book is complex in precisely the right way for a children's book. We start out thinking that he is Bad, but it turns out that he is Good. This is a nice twist, and children are smart enough to appreciate the moral complexity of it. Snape is horrible, but he is a good person. Snape in the later books is "complex" in precisely the wrong way for a children's book. He is a tangle of conflicting motivations, which may or may not actually make very much sense. He's probably going to wind up having been in love with Lily Potter, and blame himself for her death and blah blah blah.

Now I'm not saying that children are incapable of understanding characters with complex motivations. I'm saying that children won't gain anything by being asked to understand characters with complex motivations (particularly when said motivations are spurious and rather cliched). When you hear children talk about the Potter books, they always talk about how much they love the wizards and the broomsticks, you hear remarkably few people saying "well I'm really interested in the formative childhood experiences of Severus Snape."

Just look at the great classics of children's literature (particularly fantastic children's literature). We aren't asked to analyse the motivations of the Mock Turtle, or wonder whether the Queen of Hearts is really as bad as she seems. Nobody expects us to be interested in the political climate of Oz (well ... Gregory Maguire does). Children's books shouldn't be preoccupied with the same petty minutiae which fill up so much adult literature (particularly fantasy literature). In pandering to the fans' desire to speculate about the inner workings of her magical world (guess what folks, it doesn't have any, it's completely nonsensical) Rowling is breeding a generation of "book lovers" accustomed to the worst excesses of the fantasy genre.

Dahl, Carroll, Baum and the others may not have had the "moral" heart of the Harry Potter books (at least, that's Miss Rowling's analysis), but they had an imagination which far exceeds the few simple ideas which JK spins out over the Potter series. They may not have had long running plots, or complex character arcs (like the "Lupin shacks up with Tonks" arc or the "Harry goes out with Ginny for all of five minutes" arc), but for pity's sake children get enough of that sort of thing watching Eastenders.

JK Rowling is raising a generation of children to value world above plot, plot above meaning, and volume of written material above everything.Themes:

J.K. Rowling

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Rami

at 14:07 on 2006-12-20I don't read Harry Potter, but I agree with your points about Children's Fiction As A Whole - it *shouldn't* just be adult fiction with shorter words and more colorful packaging!

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Wardog

at 13:04 on 2007-01-01And Harry Potter, of course, has its range of "adult" covers, as if to further distance itself from the rest of children's fiction. As I shall surely write in an article of my very own, JK seems to be no longer writing books for children, she's writing books for Harry Potter fans which is actually a completely different thing.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 17:59 on 2012-04-21"Snape He's probably going to wind up having been in love with Lily Potter, and blame himself for her death and blah blah blah..."

Wow! You're a prophetic genius! How _do_ you do that? ;)

You hate JK Rowling as much as I hate Dan Brown. Let's get together and do coffee! :) Though I actually enjoyed the Potter series *ducks* I recognize it for the big magic soap opera it is. I have no illusions that it's great literature, but I think fellow fantasy writers like Terry Pratchett are just a _mite_ jealous that she captured the youth market before they did.

Whatever you may think of Rowling, you gotta give her credit for getting young kids around the world excited about

reading

. That's no small feat. Sorry if the visual image of a 5 year old hugging the latest Harry Potter tome to their elated breast gives you the vapors, but I find it inspiring. :P

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Dan H

at 22:32 on 2012-04-21

Whatever you may think of Rowling, you gotta give her credit for getting young kids around the world excited about reading.

Obviously getting kids to read is good, but I'm genuinely not convinced JKR actually increased the amount of books read by children - I strongly suspect that the sorts of kids who read Harry Potter are the sorts of kids who would have been reading anyway. I think the anecdotal evidence gets skewed here in the sense that for kids-who-read, there is likely to be a particular author who you remember as being the author who got you into reading (for me it was Dahl with a side order of Pratchett) and while I think there's a generation of kids for whom that author was Rowling, I don't think that's quite the same as Rowling getting kids to read. It's like the Yoko Factor in reverse, the kids got themselves to read, Rowling was just there at the time.

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Arthur B

at 00:31 on 2012-04-22Plus: getting lots of kids to read is benign enough. Getting lots of kids to

all read the same stuff

brings me out in chills.

As a young person the most valuable books I read were the ones which were strictly speaking not actually intended for people my age.

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Sister Magpie

at 06:03 on 2012-04-22I could swear I remember reading some actual research about this idea with HP. The basic result was, unsurprisingly, that while HP did certainly get kids interested in reading those books (just as Star Wars got kids interested in seeing Star Wars), the number of readers (meaning kids who read for pleasure) was basically the same.

So essentially the same idea--there are now a lot of adult readers whose first amazing books were HP, but the generation that were kids when HP came out don't have a higher percentage of readers as a result.

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James D

at 06:56 on 2012-04-22Man, that's kind of depressing. There must also be kids out there whose 'first amazing books' were the Twilight series.

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http://fishinginthemud.livejournal.com/

at 15:17 on 2012-04-22Yeah, some kids are just readers. They'll read whatever's in front of them, whether it's Harry Potter or the cereal box. Kids who don't like to read because reading is hard or boring will just wait to see the movies, as always.

I'm honestly impressed with Rowling for tapping exactly the right cultural vein at the right time. I mean, the woman literally wrote books that managed to appeal to *every kind of person everywhere*. Even people who hated the books enjoyed hating them, and often for very different reasons. She tried to give everyone everything and failed spectacularly, but she did manage to give everyone something. And she did it just by being herself and writing the kind of books she would want to read.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 16:22 on 2012-04-22I'd like to see those statistics about how the number of kids reading Potter were "reading kids" anyway. I'm writing from the states and let me tell you, seeing American kids

under

7 years old _pack_ bookstores (and I'm talking the

big

chains here) just to read a story was a new phenomena to me. Kids that young usually are not into reading as a rule.

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Arthur B

at 16:25 on 2012-04-22

I'd like to see those statistics about how the number of kids reading Potter were "reading kids" anyway. I'm writing from the states and let me tell you, seeing American kids under 7 years old _pack_ bookstores (and I'm talking the bigchains here) just to read a story was a new phenomena to me. Kids that young usually are not into reading as a rule.

Were they packing the bookstores year-round or just around the Potter release dates? Because if it's the latter, that might just be a side effect of them all being keen to read the same books by the same author rather than being particularly more keen to read than their forebears.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 16:28 on 2012-04-22

James D: Man, that's kind of depressing. There must also be kids out there whose 'first amazing books' were the Twilight series.

I see what you did there. :P

God, that would be even

depressing, wouldn't it?

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Sister Magpie

at 17:17 on 2012-04-22

I don't have the actual statistics, but the upshot of what I read was the opposite. It wasn't that the books were read by kids who were readers anyway. They were also read by non-readers because they were a huge thing everyone wanted to read. But they didn't get kids interested in reading so much as interested in Harry Potter. So it didn't create readers, it created HP fans who read that.

Though in my experience having worked at a kids' bookstore there are plenty of kids who would pack a bookstore to hear a story. There just aren't huge events where a specific book coming out brings in the crowd all at once--which of course was true for adult readers with HP too.

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http://fishinginthemud.livejournal.com/

at 17:21 on 2012-04-22I think if the goal was to get kids to start reading Harry Potter and then graduate them to actual good books, it didn't work. There are kids who read Harry Potter and nothing else, which doesn't quite make them "readers."

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http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 20:09 on 2012-04-22

I have no illusions that it's great literature, but I think fellow fantasy writers like Terry Pratchett are just a _mite_ jealous that she captured the youth market before they did.

That was never the problem- Pratchett, at least, was annoyed at the way she was presented in the news as if she was the first person ever to put MAGIC in books for CHILDREN, etc, in pieces obviously written by people who do not read fantasy (and yet think they know what's what in the genre).

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http://lonewolf-eburg.livejournal.com/

at 21:07 on 2012-04-22The main problem with Harry Potter isn't that the books stop being "children's books" halfway though. "These books are no longer for children" is a statement that implies something that is nor positive, nor negative.

The problem is that in the later books, "childlike" elements inherited from earlier ones uncomfortably mesh with the new "adult stuff". I'd argue that in HBP and DH this is particularly noticeable, though two previous books suffer from that as well. As a result, both the series and every particular post-PoA book taken in itself have a hard time realizing who the hell is their primary audience. That results in a lot of dissonant Mood Whiplashes, aborted storylines and themes as the narrative merrily goes from "childlike" to "adult" and back again, and inconsistent characterization.

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TheMerryMustelid

at 21:19 on 2012-04-22TheMerryMustelid:

I have no illusions that it's great literature, but I think fellow fantasy writers like Terry Pratchett are just a _mite_ jealous that she captured the youth market before they did.

http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

Didn't Pratchett also take Rowling to task for effectively saying her books

weren't

fantasy? Like she was trying to distance her series from the "taint" of the genre or something. If she did say something as bone-headed as that, I don't blame him for jumping down her throat.

I love Pratchett and am happy to see him finally getting a wider audience in the States. For many years it seemed he was almost the American fantasy geek's best kept secret. I used to sneer at Terry Brooks readers while I clutched the latest then-hard-to-find Pratchett tome. But that was way back and Pratchett has had good american distribution for at least a decade now.

Ogg is my Co-pilot. :D

To get back on topic, if it's statistically true that Rowling didn't inspire more kids to read beyond her series, that is too bad, but is it necessarily her fault? One of my little pet theories is that fantasy in general has benefitted from the Harry Potter frenzy, because during the waits between Potter books & after the series ended, readers needed something to fill the void. So in effect, Rowling did help other fantasy writers by making fantasy more popular than ever before, even mainstream.

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Sister Magpie

at 00:04 on 2012-04-23I don't think anybody would say it was her fault. It came up, I think, because there were a lot of people crediting her with single-handedly boosting literacy rates etc. That idea has gotten repeated a lot, so it just gets corrected. Blaming her for not performing that feat is like blaming her for not actually being able to fly a broomstick--I don't think anybody could do it!

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Dan H

at 09:37 on 2012-04-23

The main problem with Harry Potter isn't that the books stop being "children's books" halfway though. "These books are no longer for children" is a statement that implies something that is nor positive, nor negative.

I think I disagree, but only margainally. I think "these books are no longer for children" does in fact imply something negative, simply because it implies - well - all of the stuff you mention later.

The reason I would suggest that it was bad for a series of children's books to become a series of books for adults is simply that it is inevitable that the "for kids" stuff doesn't fit with the "for adults" stuff. Part of the problem here is that people seem to forget that you can have a dark, serious story in which bad things happen to people which is still fundamentally a children's story, or a lighthearted wacky romp which is still for grownups.

Rowling's error - essentially - was that she mistakenly believed that the only way to engage with the "serious" themes she wanted to engage with in her children's stories was for her to stop writing children's books.

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http://lonewolf-eburg.livejournal.com/

at 15:16 on 2012-04-23I agree that JKR's OMGADULT!change was always going to have some problems, but I also think that she could've done more to alleviate the problem of thematic discordance. She didn't seem to be aware that she has a problem that needs fixing at all.

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Frank

at 17:04 on 2012-04-23I, too, recall reading that HP did not increase readers. My understanding is that the series may have increased literacy within age groups. Increasing one's ability to read books does not necessarily make one a reader of books.

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http://fishinginthemud.livejournal.com/

at 17:24 on 2012-04-23I agree that after about book three Rowling was no longer clear which market she was targeting, and it didn't matter because she was solidly hitting all of them. I can imagine her and her publishers having their minds blown by their success and wanting more of it, without really being sure what was working and shouldn't be changed and where they had room to let her go crazy and do what she liked. There may not have been a conscious choice to turn the books "adult," but an organic growth in that direction, which no editor ever bothered to sit down and take a good look at and realize just how fucked up it was.

Basically, I think Rowling was a decently talented newbie who was deeply injured by her early success, and it'll be interesting to see whether she ever recovers from it as a writer.

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http://fishinginthemud.livejournal.com/

at 17:34 on 2012-04-23

She didn't seem to be aware that she has a problem that needs fixing at all.

I think closer to the end, her only thought was "finish these fucking books so I can get the fuck on with my life." It's probably more that she simply didn't care what she wrote anymore as long as she got words on paper, and her editors cared even less.

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http://scipiosmith.livejournal.com/

at 20:06 on 2012-04-23

She didn't seem to be aware that she has a problem that needs fixing at all.

Given that her next book seems to be a satire on the State of the Nation, I'd say she does at least realise that a work primarily for adults will allow her more room to engage with the ideas she wants to in the manner which she would like. As Dan and others have noted, the social commentary in HP was hampered by the fact that it was ultimately a story about the Chosen One defeating the Dark Lord.

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http://lonewolf-eburg.livejournal.com/

at 20:29 on 2012-04-23I think that Scipio is correct here. To make her later books truly "grow" and be consistent at least in themselves (even if we disregard the earlier ones), JKR needed her books to change from "ultimately a story about the Chosen One defeating the Dark Lord". But while some fanfiction writers could do that (with varying degrees of success), Rowling, understandably, couldn't afford it.

That's why GoF and OotP weren't as bad as DH. In then, JKR could allow herself to deviate a little. HBP, IMO, is just plain badly written.

"I'd say she does at least realise that a work primarily for adults will allow her more room to engage with the ideas she wants to in the manner which she would like"

To be fair, sometimes fantasy can be a good vessel for real-world commentary. But then, see the previous points made on the thread.

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http://scipiosmith.livejournal.com/

at 19:05 on 2012-04-24

To be fair, sometimes fantasy can be a good vessel for real-world commentary. But then, see the previous points made on the thread.

Oh, definitely. One of my favourite fantasies of the moment is Shadows of the Apt, which tries very hard to engage with race, privilege and the nature of prejudice and discrimination in general. I just think that a series for children is perhaps not the best medium for that sort of thing.

#Ferretbrain #Harry Potter #Roald Dahl #Enid Blyton #J.K. Rowling #Dan H

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